What's Up, Tiger Mommy?

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B+ | 5 USERS: B+
Going, Going... Gone

They get to the auction, which is being held in some grungy old warehouse. They all have to pass through a metal detector, which happens without incident until it's Dean turn. He sets off the alarm and the guards make him fork over an entire militia's worth of weaponry. How was he hiding that much stuff on him? Is that what all the shirts are for?

All the attendees mingle and ogle the items during the preview. Among the oglers are a Buddhist monk (!) and Mr. Vili from the bank scene earlier. He peers into a glass case at a large hammer inscribed with Norse symbols. So he's that Vili - brother of Odin, uncle to Thor. Sam and Dean find the Word of God, but it's mostly hidden behind metal plates so that the hieroglyphs can't be seen. Everyone feels pretty defeated. "It's okay, we just gotta come up with Plan B," Sam says. "And what, pray tell, could possibly have been Plan A?" asks a familiar voice behind them. They turn to see Crowley. He guesses their original plan: "Bring the prophet to the most dangerous place on Earth, memorize the tablet and then... vamoose?" He puts particular emphases on the "moose" syllable as he looks at Sam.

"Crowley," Dean says, putting as much loathing into the name as he can. Crowley ignores him and turns to Kevin so he can gloat about killing Channing. Kevin holds his tongue, but Mama Tran lets out some kind of enraged animal sound and punches the ever-loving shit out of Crowley. The force of it actually sends him reeling back just a tiny bit and he touches his hand to his face in genuine surprise. "Stay away from my son," seethes Mama Tran. The Winchesters move to protect her, but Crowley reminds them that they'll be thrown out of the auction of they try anything. Dean looks like he doesn't care, so it's up to Sam to be reasonable. "It's not worth it," he says. "Listen to Moose, Squirrel," Crowley says to Dean.

It's just so, so fantastic that Crowley, the King of Hell, gets such glee out of making these tiny insults - possibly even more fantastic than the notion that Crowley watches Bullwinkle cartoons. I like to imagine he has a little Moleskine notebook (because he's old school) into which he jots ideas for new slings and arrows. Then, late at night when he's alone, he reads over his notes and titters at his own brilliance.

Just then, Plutus strides through the warehouse on the way to the auction room. Dean gets a look at him and asks, "What is he, the god of the candy aisle?" The guy's not that fat, although his velour jogging suit isn't doing him any favors. As the gang heads into the auction, someone calls Dean's name. He stops to see a teenaged boy wearing a red and white uniform, complete with baseball cap emblazoned with the words "Wiener Hut." It may be one of the most beautiful things ever seen on this show. "Do I know you?" Dean asks. "No, but I knew Castiel," the boy says. "You're an angel?" Dean asks somewhat incredulously. With the most adorable touch of embarrassment, the boy explains this was the nearest available vessel on such short notice. As to what he's doing at the auction: "We protect the Word of God." Dean scoffs, checks the boy's name tag and says, "Awesome job so far, Alfie." The boy says his name is actually Samandriel, which very nearly sounds like a portmanteau for some kind of weird but potentially amazing Sam/salamander/Castiel romance.

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