What's Up, Tiger Mommy?

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B+ | 5 USERS: B+
Going, Going... Gone

In the present day, Dean finally snaps out of it and joins the auction. Everyone's been patiently waiting for him to wrap up his flashback before getting started. While Beau talks up the upcoming items up for bid, the Winchesters and friends pool their resources. Between the four of them, they come up with a handful of credit cards, two thou in cash and a Costco membership. Crowley, sitting behind Sam, tries to psych him out a little. "Don't know why you're so keen on that hunk of dirt," he says. "So it tells you to blast back a few demons. I'll just make more." Crowley surreptitiously consults his Moleskine: "Can't get rid of all my black-eyed boys... Samantha." Sam smirks at him. "Yeah, we'll see." This exchange makes it sound like Crowley thinks the tablet is only for killing off demons in the same manner that Kevin used when he escaped. Keep that in mind for later.

The auction gets underway. When the first item - the Amulet of Hesperus - goes for five tons of dwarven gold, the gang realizes just how hopelessly outmatched they are. "Plan C?" Sam suggests without much hope. Crowley practically wriggles with delight. Dean makes some excuse about going to the restroom, but he's really going to try to steal the tablet. He follows an auction minion to a locked room, then "accidentally" bumps into him so he can steal the keys. Of course, the room and all its treasures are being guarded by other minions, so Dean has no choice but to abandon his plan.

He returns to the auction just as bidding starts for Thor's hammer. Vili leaps from his seat with his offer: "The finger bone of the frost giant Ymir!" Plutus isn't interested. Vili digs around in his tote and comes up with a bloody paper bag filled with virgin pieces. (Perhaps this is what became of Miss Nosy.) That sweetens the pot just enough for Plutus. "Sold," Beau says. Dean leans over to Sam: "Plan C tanked." Crowley: "Perhaps you should try Plan D for (consults Moleskine) dumbass." The Word of God goes up next. Samandriel and Crowley get into a bidding war. Crowley offers billions of dollars. Samandriel offers the Mona Lisa. Crowley counters with the "real" Mona Lisa, which shows her naked. Samandriel bids Vatican City. Crowley offers Alaska, but it has too many Palins for Beau's liking. He then offers the moon - the literal, actual moon - which belongs to Hell. When the Winchesters react with shock, Crowley says simply, "You think a man named Buzz gets to go to the moon without making a deal?" Heh. Alas, not even the moon tempts Plutus, who sits around looking bored while he reads a newspaper. Beau decides to throw in an extra little incentive to whip everyone up into a bidding frenzy. To Mama Tran's dismay, this means including the Lord's Littlest Prophet in the auction.

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