Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | 2 USERS: A
Two Hardy Boys In A Fountain

They follow the tracks to a packy. That's the traditional term for liquor stores (i.e. package stores) in Boston, but it seems to be fading away and Scott and I are against it, so I'm starting our crusade to re-establish it, right in this recap. Where was I? Yes. Sam and Dean follow the tracks to a packy. Someone's broken in and trashed the place. There are broken bottles and booze all over the floor. Dean crouches to examine two of them. "Amaretto and Irish Cream -- he's a girl-drink drunk." Heh. They notice the entire porn rack has been wiped out, and find an odd tuft of brown fur. While sitting on a bench outside the packy, the boys try to figure out this wacky plot. Sam figures it's got to be a joke -- maybe someone in a gorilla suit. Dean says it could be a Bigfoot. "You know, and he's some kind of a... alcoholo-porno addict. Kind of like a deep woods Duchovny." Low blow, El Deano. After Dean tries to refrain from laughing at his own joke, a little girl rides by on a bike. She's got a yellow milk crate strapped to the back of it, and it's full of stuff. A Busty Asian Babes magazine flies off the top and lands at the boys' feet. Let's think of that moment as Duchovny's Revenge. Dean notes that the child is, "A little young for Busty Asian Beauties." Indeed. She leaves a box of magazines and liquor bottles on the back steps of the packy, with a big "Sorry" note lying on top, and rides home. She is followed by...

Ah, it's just Sam and Dean, but it's a little creepy to see our intrepid heroes following a little girl, don't you think? Her name is Audrey, by the way. They knock on the door and Audrey answers. They ask for her parents, but they're not home. This is a cute scene, because it's clear the boys feel awkward stalking this child. Dean finally asks, "Have you seen a really really furry..." Audrey cuts him off. "Is he in trouble?" Sam says he's not; they just want to make sure he's okay. Audrey says, "He's my teddy bear. I think he's sick," which gives the boys their cover as Teddy Bear Doctors. No. Really. They quickly flash badges at her, and she invites them in to take a look at Teddy. Dean's face is all, "I'm going to Hell to stay, this time," as he crosses the threshold. Audrey warns the boys that Teddy is grumpy. She knocks on the door and tells him there are some nice doctors there to see him. When she opens it, a man-sized teddy bear is seated on the edge of the bed, rocking back and forth as he drinks himself silly, while watching some account of a tragedy on the news. He yells, "Close the frigging door!" The little girl obeys then whispers, "See what I mean." The boys can't believe their eyes and we go to commercial, which gives me time to stop laughing.

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