Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | 2 USERS: A
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Two Hardy Boys In A Fountain

Cut to Audrey's house. There's a message on her chalkboard. "Life is meaningless. Signed, T. Bear." Oh, my. Teddy sits on the bed, crying, with a shotgun stuck in his mouth. The camera pans behind him. There's a blast! And fluff. Everywhere! I rewind it three times, before I let it continue on long enough to see that Teddy survives. The camera pans to the back of his head, which is still smoking from the shot, but poor old T. Bear is still sitting upright. He turns directly to the camera and screams, "Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?"

At the motel, Sam does some research as Dean has another dream of Hell. He twitches and moans in his sleep until Sam says, "Dean, wake up!" Sam asks if he slept well. Dean reaches for the bottle beside his bed and grunts. "Tan, rested and ready." He takes a swig. Sam's had enough. Between the nightmares and the drinking, he knows Uriel was telling the truth and that Dean remembers Hell. "I'm your brother. I wish you'd talk to me." Dean puts on his well-worn mask of false bravado, and picks up the newspaper. "Be careful what you wish for." He changes the subject to the job and asks Sam what he has. Sam gives up. "We've got Teddy Bear, Lottery Guy, Invisible Pervert Guy -- they all must have wished sometime in the last two weeks, but who wished first? And how are we supposed to know who else wished and when?" Dean smiles. "Well, it helps if they announce it in the paper." He puts it down in front of Sam and notes that the announcement goes back a month. Sam reads the notice of Hope Lynn Casey's "surprise engagement" to Wesley Mondale. Dean says, "Ah, true love." Sam says, "It's the best lead we've got." And I start anticipating all the gender issues that are going to arise in this subplot. They're sitting with me about as well as Dean's sandwich sat with him.

Wesley is dozing in front of the TV, just as Captain Blood begins. Hope wakes him for a little "snack" -- a full roast chicken dinner, complete with those cute little chef's hats on the end of the drumsticks. When he says she didn't have to do that, she insists she wanted to. "Well, no, I... I had to, because I love you more than anything, lover." He asks her to sit down, and asks her if she's happy. She can only answer, "I love you more than anything." He knows, and gently he says he loves her too, which is why he wants her to start doing things that used to make her happy before they fell in love. She gets extremely stressed out, and pleads with him not to be angry with her (which he isn't). "I'd just die. I'd just die." Oh my word. Look, he's put the whammy on this girl, so she's love sick, right? I -- have to ignore the troublesome acquaintance rape implications here, because this woman is not capable of consent -- consent has been thrust upon her. This show is not Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I'll spoil this subplot right now, to let you know we're not even going to get the small satisfaction we got from the Warren/Katrina storyline. In fact, I'll quote her right now, so I can get on with the recap. "Bunch of little boys playing at being men. This is not some fantasy! It's not a game, you freaks! It's rape!" I really would have preferred to keep quoting the musical, but someone had to say it, and it wasn't going to be Edlund. Dammit. Now I'll share my handwavium, for those of you who, like me, need to get past this part, in order to get through the story. It goes like this. We never see Hope and Wes have sex. They never say they're having sex. Okay, they're probably having sex, but we don't have to interpret the wish-spell to be a date rape drug. We can interpret it as a lie, instead. And yet, she's still not capable of giving her consent, is she, so strike that. Frig. I mean, look how freaked out she was, just because Wes kindly asked her to make sure she does stuff to make herself happy. Oh, crap. It is rape. It is. After one airing, I could handwave it away, and now I can't. I wasn't any help at all, was I? This show has more issues with sex and race than a year long subscription to Busty Asian Beauties. Let's move on, shall we?

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Supernatural

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