Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 4 USERS: A+
And The Hardy Boys Shall Make You Free

...lavishly decorated basement abattoir! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Yep, the congealed remains of Pathetic Jane lie sprawled across a couple of metal trays, while the partially devoured yet modestly attired torso of one of the goddess's far more strapping victims dangles from meat hooks in the center of the room. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Dead Doctor Paul, meanwhile, lies more or less intact on an operating table off to one side, but he has been accessorized with a variety of fearsome-looking scalpels and bone saws, so it's clearly only a matter of time, isn't it? "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "You came for dinner!" Veritas peals from somewhere behind them, and Our Intrepid And/Or Secretly Evil Heroes spin around just in time to get smacked up with a whopping burst of telekinetic goddess mojo that sends them flying across the room, where they bodily batter that partially devoured yet modestly attired torso before dropping to the blood-soaked marble floor, unconscious.

Moments later, the boys awake to find their hands tied firmly behind their backs, and they watch helplessly as Veritas rips out Dead Doctor Paul's tongue with a pair of pliers. "VIOLENCE!" "The tongue is the tastiest part!" Veritas smiles. "It's where the lies roll off." She's switched from her newswoman drab to an absolutely stunning little gold lamé number, by the way, and she's bedecked her hair and neck with various pricey jewels for the subsequent festivities. Oh, and then she eats the tongue. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Mmmm!" she enthuses, licking her fingertips. "I cannot wait to eat yours!" she adds, beaming down at the bound gentlemen at her feet. "I mean, I've seen liars before," she notes, "but you two? Gold standard!" Shout-out? I'll let you decide, but I'm inclined to take that one as a shout-out.

Meanwhile, Sneaky Secretly Evil Sammy's fumbled a switchblade from his back pocket, and he busies himself sawing away at his ropes while Dean blusters something heroic-sounding for Veritas's benefit. The Goddess lobs something snide at him by way of response, then settles herself down by his side to propose a little game of "Truth Or Truth," presumably intending to torture the pair with their deepest, darkest secrets before slaughtering them. "What should we ask Dean first?" she playfully wonders, staring at Secretly Evil Sammy. "Something personal?" she suggests. "About you?" Secretly Evil Sammy, still sawing away at his bonds, simply glowers at her, so Veritas refocuses her attention on his brother and perks, "Hey, Dean -- I'm curious! What do you really feel about your brother?" and oh, my fucking God. Cram it, Veritas! Have you not been watching this goddamned show for the last five and a half years? We already know what goddamned Dean really feels about his goddamned brother, because goddamned Dean hasn't shut up about his goddamned feelings since this goddamned show began! Jesus Christ! "Demian!" "WHAT?" "My dear, you simply have to calm down!" "WHY?" "Oh, my! That's a brilliant point, I must say!" Yeah? So, what am I supposed to do about it? "Why, do what you always do!" What's that? "Skip to the end!" Oh! That's an excellent suggestion, Raoul. "I'm so happy you approve!" Thanks. "Don't mention it, I'm sure!' So, should I go ahead and continue, then? "By all means!" Excellent.

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