Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 4 USERS: A+
And The Hardy Boys Shall Make You Free

So, Dean blathers something about thinking Secretly Evil Sammy was a monster until he realized that Secretly Evil Sammy was just acting like Dean, and he's all dead inside, and Bendy Lisa broke up with him, and he can never have a normal life, and Sucky John sucked, and blubbering, and boo-hoo, and SHUT UP, and wah. Apparently satisfied with his answer, Veritas next turns to Secretly Evil Sammy to ask if he's happy to be back on the road with his violently depressing wretch of a brother, or something like that. Secretly Evil Sammy offers her a response that basically boils down to "My violently depressing wretch of a brother is the most important person in the whole wide world to me, and that's the truth." "No, it's not!" she protests, calling him out on his LYING ways while rising to her feet, more than a little horrified at the remarkably broad-shouldered thing now littering her exquisite marble floor. "How are you doing that?" she howls. "That's not possible!" she hisses. "You're lying to me!" "I'm not!" Secretly Evil Sammy LIES. You know, again. "What are you?" she demands, before spinning on her heel to face Dean and scream, "What is he?" Dean just gapes, so it's up to Veritas to reach the obvious conclusion by herself. "You're not human!" she breathes, aghast. DUN!

Unfortunately for The Goddess, Secretly Evil Sammy's at long last sliced through his bonds, and he leaps to his remarkably healthy feet to smack her up. Unfortunately for Secretly Evil Sammy, he still -- still -- suh-huuuuuucks at the hand-to-hand, so it's left to Deeply Depressing El Deano to save the day. Again. Dean quickly slices through his own ropes with the switchblade tossed in his direction by Secretly Evil Sammy just before the current bout of fisticuffs began, and he snatches up a nearby meat hook, which he then drives through Veritas's back. "VIOLENCE!" Secretly Evil Sammy takes this opportunity to scramble for one of the dog-slathered hunting knives, which he then plunges through Veritas's heart. "VIOLENCE!" The Goddess gasps, clutching at her fatal wounds, and eventually flops to the floor to die in a pool of her own unnatural blood. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" And as Secretly Evil Sammy pants and heaves himself upright, Deeply Depressing El Deano steels himself and holds out a knife, ready to chop Secretly Evil Sammy's secretly evil head off. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Yeah, it's that, Raoul, but it's also a DUN! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" And a METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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