The Practice
An Early Frost

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Ragdoll: F | Grade It Now!
The end of an era

Previously on The Practice: In case anyone in the world might not be paying attention, Scott Wallace shot his ex-boss in cold blood. Bobby faced off against the firm when everyone voted against him by stating he shouldn't represent Baby Face Wallace. In other places, Lindsay continued to freak out over the existence of William Hinks.

This week on The Practice: A lovely overhead shot of Boston is ruined by some discordant music. We cut inside to Richard "The Runt" Bay coaching Jimmy "The Lump" Berluti in the art of testifying at a murder trial. Richard is already pacing: "You're going up first. You also might be batting clean-up." Because when one speaks of trials and courts of law, one must use sports euphemisms; it only makes sense. Jimmy says okay. Richard continues, "I'll basically just be asking you what you saw." The Runt pauses, and then goes on to state that, contrary to what people think of him, he "[does] not supply the answers to [his] witnesses." The Lump nods, and then turns to look Richard straight in the eye as the prosecutor sits across from him. Richard intones, "You do realize the lawyer who will cross-examine you will try to leave you in the shape of a pretzel." Baseball, pretzels -- see, it's all about the sports theme tonight, people: man pitted against man in a dark arena, surrounded by his peers, grasping at every chance to become immortal. Jimmy wonders how long he'll actually be on the stand. The DA replies, "It should be quite short." He takes a deep breath: "I'm assuming you have no conflict and you'll continue to give a truthful account." Jimmy snaps back, "Of course I have a conflict. My boss is opposing counsel and I'll be testifying against a former client. In my life I'll probably never know a bigger professional conflict." Hey, how about the time you told your ex-girlfriend she was a whore because she was selling her eggs, Berluti? That wasn't a big enough conflict for ya? The Two Men In Grey Suits blather on about truth-telling for a minute. Richard tries to warn Jimmy that Bobby's tough. Jimmy "Truthsayer" Berluti responds, "Richard. I can handle Bobby." The DA nods, slowly.

The Firm. Eugene opens Bobby's door, but before he can even start his speech, the Emperor Rod cuts in: "Forget it. It's too late now anyway. We start tomorrow." Eugene offers to take the case. Rod will have none of it: "Eugene. The only reason the judge signed off on the conflict was because of the unique trust that Scott Wallace shares --" His hands do a breaststroke on his desk. "--with me." His co-worker suggests that, in fact, Scott Wallace shares a special relationship with The Firm. Bobby's response: "No. Me." His ego cup runneth way, way over. Eugene presses on; he explains how the conflict could splinter the firm, but again, the Rod of His Own Sense of Justice will have none of these protestations: "We've been through it." Eugene tries a moral tactic: he wants Bobby to step down for Scott Wallace's sake; after all, the Emperor's been acting "erratic." As opposed to all those times the Emperor acts "sane" and "collected." Eugene claims that Bobby's in no emotional state to be trying the case. The Emperor raises his voice: "I am trying this case. End of discussion, Eugene." Like I said, the Emperor's sense of self-involvement has reached critical proportions.

Stupid credits. I would rather eat dirt than listen to the damn theme song. And I hate dirt.

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The Practice




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