The Practice

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Ragdoll: D+ | Grade It Now!
And baby makes two?

The Reconstructed Firm. After replacing The Firm with the carbon copy they keep stored in Studio B, things are pretty much back to normal. Someone is pacing: Ellenor. Someone is screaming: Ellenor. And someone is indignant: Lucy. "He changed his mind?" Yup. While doing her best impression of the Emperor by waving her hands around like a flag marshal, Ellenor rants on about their having a contract and Michael having already been to see a lawyer. For once, it's Bobby telling Ellenor to calm down instead of the other way around. Rod asks who "is this guy anyway?" Well, he's a successful photographer, duh, and he's an old friend. Little Lucy quips: "Friends like friends?" It wasn't a romantic relationship. His involvement with the pregnancy is "genetic." They have a signed agreement that terminates all of his rights as a father, but now Michael wants to go to court and have their contract voided. Jimmy "The Lump" Berluti wants to know when the hearing is scheduled. She doesn't know. Jimmy jumps right in to help Ellenor: "Okay. I'll see if I can get his lawyer to come in here before he goes into court." You know, it gets "complicated" once they get a judge involved. Now, here's a question for you: why is it when any member of The Firm starts having a trial of their own, they have no freaking idea about the law or how it works? Huh? Of course Ellenor KNOWS it's complicated. See, there's this thing called a "hearing" -- it's what happens when two people can't get "along." Having been to LAW SCHOOL and everything, you'd think Ellenor would just smack Jimmy upside the head for being so patronizing, but instead, she cries, "I can't believe he's doing this." Her eyes well up with tears: "We have a deal!" At the very instant Ellenor's tears are about to run right down her face and swell into a puddle on the floor, Little Lucy's rape-crisis pager goes off. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Hospital, Where People Are In Pain. A much more mature, even composed rape-crisis-center counselor approaches the information desk. She's even wearing a badge. Ha! Not. It's just Little Lucy playing grown-up. She asks for Amanda McGowan. The nurse wants to know who she is. Little Lucy replies that she's from the rape-crisis center, and is pointed down the hall and to the left. In the hospital room, a doctor turns around and, again, wants to know who she is, and again Lucy explains she's from the rape-crisis center. You'd think that someone in that hospital would know that when a woman is raped, they send a representative from the rape-crisis center, just for my sanity so I don't have to keep typing "Who are you" and "rape-crisis counselor." The doctor says he's already done the rape kit, but now he needs to go and talk to the father. Please lord, let it be Shane McGowan from The Pogues, and don't let him drink himself to death until I get there. Thanks. Lucy puts her bags down, starts explaining -- she's, yawn, from the rape-crisis center. As she turns around, the Song of Solemn Sightings falls out of Little Lucy's open mouth. Damn, the victim is just a little girl. Lucy asks, "How old are you?" The little girl holds the blue hospital sheets up around her chin and responds, "Eleven." Oh. The. Drama.

Upstairs. The Hospital of Far-Reaching Pain. Helaine looks up to a very casually dressed, shockingly handsome Eugene and says, "She's been gone for over three hours. They're usually back here in an hour." He goes and checks with the nurse sitting at the big I.C.U. counter. The nurse looks surprised when Eugene mentions that Rebecca went down for a test several hours ago and has yet to be returned to her room. What? The nurse picks up the phone and calls some mysterious person who might know where Rebecca has gotten to. Firstly, they would have noticed if Rebecca had been gone for longer than an hour. When you are in the I.C.U., they check your vitals every freaking hour. Secondly, a doctor or somebody would have happened by to do rounds. Thirdly, someone, somewhere would have noticed she wasn't in her room, for heaven's sake; it's made of glass. Well, apparently, she had her test, and no, she is not in her room. Then nurse asks the mysterious person on the phone to call patient escorts. The nurse STANDS up and looks to make sure Rebecca isn't in her room for the THIRD time. In short, they've lost her. That's correct. They lost Rebecca in the Terrible, Horrible, Hallowed Hallway of Pain.

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The Practice




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