The Practice
Black Widows

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Black Widows

The defence team looks confused as Ms. Scott wraps up, and then Eugene starts his cross from his chair: "Did she say 'I'm going to put Viagra in his wine and then make love to him until he has a coronary?' Because that would be your testimony, Mr. Hanson, maybe you should have her say that." The DA objects to this, but Eugene withdraws before the judge has a chance to rule. Up on his feet, Eugene starts with the typical line of questioning: Did your father fear for his life? Maybe. Did you call the police, notify someone that he might be in danger? Did you talk to my client and express your concerns? No. "Huh. So you took the danger seriously but it didn't concern you?" Here the son gets kind of snarky: "What was I supposed to do, go to the police and say that my stepmother is trying to intercourse my father to death?" Eugene "Hitman" Young: "If you were concerned, yes." Then the lawyer brings up the fact that the son gets all the loot if Victoria Principal gets thrown in the slammer. "Do you think I'm sitting here because of money?" Stupid thing to say, kid -- yes, that's exactly what Eugene thinks, and if you open the door, this man will crush you, you frail, snivelling creature. Whew, kind of got ahead of myself there. "Are you lying to get your father's money?" Eugene shouts amongst the objections of the DA and the admonishing of the judge: "It's just a little too damn convenient for me. I'm sorry, but my client's being charged with murder for inducing a heart attack and gee, you get up here and tell me that your father was afraid he'd give her a heart attack when you'd never said that to anyone before. And you remembered to add that he was excited at the time to get around the hearsay rule, it's just a little too convenient." Ms. Scott bounds to her feet to object, that defence counsel is badgering the witness: "Damn right I am -- I badger a liar!" Judge Grumpy-face ropes Eugene in, and Eugene answers by pointing toward the BW and asking the son: "You said she makes love in a violent way?" That's what he said. "What's violent to a seventy-year-old man?" The son has no response; he doesn't know. "You don't follow that up with, 'Dad, what do you mean'?" Good question, Eugene. The son wishes that he had. Then Eugene goes for the jugular -- the music comes up, and the hulking man approaches the simpering fellow on the stand: "You said she taunts, she's sadistic, she psychologically punishes him, and you don't even go to her and say what's going on? What kind of caring son are you?" Piece by piece Eugene takes him down; the son wishes he had said something, maybe he should have done something, maybe he should have realised he's a wimp, maybe his father would still be alive today. "Do you know what perjury is?" Eugene thunders. "You're under oath here!" The DA objects, the judge screams, "Mr. Young!" And, cool as a cucumber, Eugene answers: "I'm done," and walks back to the defence table. Great scene by Steve Harris. I still maintain that he's the best thing about this show. Eugene "Search and Destroy" Young saves the day for Bobby "I'm Beautiful" Donnell -- again.

Cut to Jenny, in chambers with Judge Zoey. She's wearing a nice baby-blue sweater, but her hair hasn't moved. It looks like she's had it in these rolls the entire time. Slept with them, ate with them, even showered and left them. Icky. "And since, you know, she was an attorney, I thought she would make it so I could leave." The judge asks about what happened when she signed the statement. "She said if I told them exactly what happened it would be better for me, especially not keeping anything inside." Judge Zoey: "She told you she had an abortion?" Jenny: "Yes. And how terrible it was for her that she kept stuff buried inside." Looking up at Helen she continues: "You lied to me. You said you could help me -- you lied to me!" Asking her to calm down, the judge wonders if Jenny understood that the detective said that anything she said could be used against her in a court of law. "Yes," Jenny answers. "Then she came in, and she's an attorney, and she said they wouldn't be." With a nod of her Joan-of-Arc-inspired head, Judge Zoey asks Jenny to wait outside for a minute. I think she's going to tear a strip off Pinocchio. I know I would. As if the long nose weren't the first clue, the overzealous way she passed the buck to Ellenor would certainly add to the verbal beating she deserves. Sneaky DA stands in the corner with her arms crossed as the judge makes her way back to her desk. "Aren't we resourceful," she snips. The puppet takes a step forward to lean on a chair: "None of her civil rights have been violated." Sneaky DA's back to all grey, I guess Wardrobe figured it's a lost cause trying to make her look more sympathetic -- hell, to make her look anything other than a stick figure. Judge Zoey wants to know if the DA actually had an abortion; Pinocchio counters that it isn't relevant. The judge believes it's relevant to her and asks again. "No," the puppet says, adding, "Tricks are used in interrogations all the time." Hell, she didn't just trick the poor girl, she outright lied. "Lies are used too. There's nothing unconstitutional about lying to a suspect so long as they understand their rights. Which she did." Up pipes Ellenor at this point, disagreeing that Jenny actually understood her rights. In response to Ellenor, the DA becomes arrogant: "Aww, come on, look, we can all try to get inside this girl's head but that's not the way it goes, we have constitutional dos and don'ts and we didn't commit any of the don'ts. The statement is valid and admissible." Well, that's the judge's decision, Sneaky, and she wants to think about it for a little while. Here Sneaky senses that she may have overstepped her boundaries, and she asks to say something: "You're all thinking about Jenny Holbrook. I wasn't called in to talk to Jenny Holbrook. I was brought in to question a murder suspect. A suspect who killed a baby. A suspect wouldn't talk to the police. This isn't a moral arena -- it's a legal one. Everything I did was legal." Helen cries oh poor baby DA: it's not easy getting confessions, blah blah, and getting moral on top of the Constitution will make it so no one will ever get convicted. What. Ever. The puppet leaves Ellenor and Judge Zoey amazed at her verbal trickery and hauls her nose right out of chambers.

The Black Widow trial. The Black Widow herself is on the witness stand, being questioned by Bobby "I'm a Babe Magnet" Donnell. Courtney confirms his question, stating that it was her husband who procured the Viagra, and that he hadn't mentioned where it came from. They had discussed the benefits of the drug and they both wanted to try it. And "more for a laugh than anything else," they ground up the pill and sprinkled it into their wine. Humbly, BW recounts the events of the fateful evening: they had dinner, ground up the pill, dropped it into the wine, watched the tube, retired to the bedroom and started doing it. Bobby asks her to continue. "All of a sudden, Jerry grabbed his chest. He was having a heart attack. I called 911 and performed CPR but by the time the paramedics got there he was already gone." Here Bobby decides it's important to bring forward the idea that she was a violent lover -- which she violently denies. The two of them were always mindful of her husband's heart condition. Always. Cut to the DA asking BW to verify that it was her husband who got the Viagra. "Did you ever get Viagra from your doctor?" BW quietly says no. "Ever talk to her about the virtues of Viagra for women?" Yes, they had discussed that. Then she's done. Quick as a whip. Bobby and Eugene look a little taken aback as they rest their case. Courtney steps down. Here the Commonwealth calls a rebuttal witness: Dr. Gail Parent, BW's doctor. Snapping to attention, Bobby objects and calls for a sidebar. Apparently, Dr. Gail is prepared to testify that she gave Mrs. Hanson Viagra samples two days before the husband died. Oops. With this little tidbit, Bobby and Eugene turn to look at their client -- with some obvious

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