The Practice
Brothers' Keepers

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Ragdoll: C | Grade It Now!
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It's a girl!

The Firm. Holding out his left hand as though he's instructing an orchestra to tackle the next section of the opera quietly, The Emperor Rod is apprising his assistant of his morning: "If we win the motion, we'll be back before noon, if we don't, trial starts immediately." Rebecca fulfills her window-dressing contract by second-chairing this trial. From across the room, Eugene wants to know what Bobby thinks about the trial. Ragdoll rolls her eyes, because the last thing The Emperor Rod needs is an excuse to keep on talking. Anyway, Bobby explains that the law is on their side and that the trial has just been transferred to Judge Beautiful. Lindsay quips, "We're becoming a niche practice, husbands who kill wives." Now if that's not a shout-out, I don't know what is. Everyone's been complaining on the forums about DEK's inability to create any sort of plot that doesn't revolve around husbands killing their wives. Oh, and Lindsay shouldn't be cracking jokes either, because it doesn't suit her -- she always comes off so snotty. The Emperor turns his steely stare on his wife: "He's innocent." Yeah, no husband who is alleged to have killed his wife in Boston actually commits the crime. Ellenor sweeps into the office with a delicious grin and says, "Good morning!" Lindsay sidles up to her, smiling too. I'm also scared of Lindsay when she smiles. Lucy shows just how ignorant she is by exclaiming, "She got a date?" The Emperor Rod, who hates to be out of the loop, wants to know what's going on. While she's still smiling, Ellenor finally announces to the rest of The Firm that she's pregnant. There is a collective jaw-dropping session that is finally broken by the Emperor firmly implanting his foot into his extremely large mouth: "Very funny." Oddly, Ellenor doesn't take offense to Bobby's gaffe, and keeps on smiling: "I am. I didn't want to jinx it before the amnio results came back, so everything's fine. I'm four months and I'm going to have a baby girl!" Jimmy asks who the father is, and Ellenor responds that she's keeping that a secret. She's going to be a single mom. Jimmy doesn't try very hard to hide his disapproval. Rebecca smiles begrudgingly, and Lucy gives Ellenor a hug. I think everyone should control his or her non-response. Assholes. ["No kidding. I can't believe Ellenor didn't rip a strip off the lot of them. Judgmental rude-asses." -- Sars] As Ellenor makes her way over to her desk, Harland "Tumbledweebs" Bassett comes into the office, asking after Eugene. Lucy stutters for a second as Eugene comes up behind them: "Harland?" The man says, pointing to his stomach, "Remember me?" And for the second time that morning, the entire staff is shocked into silence.

Eugene and Harland move into his office. Harland sits down in a chair in front of Eugene's desk and starts pleading his case. He needs Eugene's help to defend his niece Emma against a shoplifting charge. Harland swears the security guard has it all wrong and that his niece is innocent. Eugene asks, "Harland, are you being ordered again by the court to have co-counsel present?" No. But he's hit an "unlucky patch" since their last trial, and his malpractice carrier has forced him to advise all his clients that he's never won a jury trial. Eugene: "You still haven't won a trial?" Well, poor Harland has won some bench trials, but no, he's never won a jury trial: "I need to get one under my belt, Eugene, not just because I love my niece, but also, it's tough to recruit new business with this mandate from the carrier." Eugene doesn't look convinced. Harland keeps yapping: "It's a two-day trial, max. I know I'm asking a lot." He pauses to let the full effect of his "wounded puppy-dog look" sink in and says to Eugene, "I need to get a W." What does that mean? Anyone? Does it mean an acquittal, and if so, why didn't he just say, "I need an acquittal, Eugene." No one on the history of this show has ever said, "I need to get a W." I wish there was someone from Sesame Street standing outside Eugene's office with a large "W" to hand over to him. ["It means 'win,' like the W you'd see in the won-loss standings on the sports page." -- Sars] "W" is for Wind, and for Wish, and for Walrus, and especially for Whatever.

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The Practice

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