The Practice
Brothers' Keepers

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Ragdoll: C | Grade It Now!
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It's a girl!

Courthouse. The Emperor Rod is directing air traffic in open court. He and Helen (doing her best impression of the British Raj) are arguing their motion in front of Kittleson. Bobby "Throw in the XXXL Hand Towel" Donnell states that there is no basis in law for these charges: "A defendant can't be an accessory before the fact to a homicide that happened in a foreign country." Stone Cold "Falling on Kittleson" Gamble insists there was a kidnapping with an intent to kill, so she can "absolutely" assert jurisdiction in this case. (Just so you know, you can blame this episode on the following people: Alfonso H. Moreno & Peter Blake & Adam Armus & Kay Foster. They wrote the story. David E. Kelley and Alfonso Moreno are the bastards who put it all down in script-style for the cast. Just wanted to let you know who to blame for the outrage that is soon to follow on my part. Anyway, Bobby explains how "she" was going on vacation; Helen counters his argument with a little theory of her own: "He tricked her, she thought she was going on vacation. He already arranged for his brother to have her killed when she arrived." The Emperor turns to his adversary and complains, "Are you serious?" Judge Beautiful asks Helen if she's tried to extradite the brother. She has, to no avail. Kittleson calls both of them up for a bench conference. With her hand perched under her chin, Roberta wants to know why Helen is prosecuting. Helen sprains her scrawny neck as she turns around to face the million people crowded into the gallery: "Your Honour, look over there -- that's her family." Who knows what kind of crack Kittleson's on this morning, because she decides there is enough to go forward and denies Bobby's motion to dismiss. The Emperor is stunned: "There's nothing." Judge Beautiful isn't hearing any of it, and calls over both of their heads to the bailiff to bring in the jury.

Department Store. Eugene and Harland are interviewing the guard who "accosted" Emma for shoplifting. The guard, who seriously needs to take a sensitivity course, says he's sure of his identification because the accused is "the size of cottage." No offense, he slides in. Harland does take offense. As does the rest of the world. Eugene continues with the questioning that might actually help Emma: "Is that how you picked her out, her size?" No, the guard continues; in fact, he first identified her from a picture where you couldn't even "see her girth." Now, there's a word that needs to be banned from the English language forever. It's an ugly word. ["Depends on what you're talking about. Heh." -- Sars] The lawyers want to clarify that the guard picked her out from her mug shot before he saw the line-up. As he shuffles his weight a little, Tenacious Guard says the picture was just a regular picture the DA had shown him. Harland insists, in case no one else was listening, that Emma wouldn't have a mug shot, because this is her first arrest. Eugene: "You saw this picture before the line-up?" Tenacious G says, "Look. Counsel. She's the one I saw lift the merchandise."

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The Practice

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