The Practice
Brothers' Keepers

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It's a girl!

Eugene is explaining to the judge that he can't tell Harland not to talk, because it's his case. Judge Zoey: "I don't care. After what he did the last time. He was an embarrassment." Judge Zoey's taking acting lessons from The Emperor as she wrings the air like it was Harland's neck. Eugene tries to tell the judge that it's Harland's niece who is on trial. Again, Judge Zoey will have none of it; she's still harping on the whole introducing-a-penis-as-evidence mess. Eugene tries to mend the situation by saying he'll do his best to contain Harland. She points her index finger right at poor Eugene, who is just trying to help: "Well, I will hold you responsible for any antics, counsel. You're on notice."

Courthouse. Helen has the All-American Girl's All-American Lover on the stand. They'd been together for about six months when Julie broke off the affair. She wanted to work things out with her husband. Helen asks if the witness had any encounters with "this man." The All-American Lover states that Aman assaulted him once he learned of the affair. Helen asks him to describe how the defendant threatened him. "It was pretty vague. He just said 'stay away from my wife,' in what I perceived to be a threatening tone." Helen asks if he said anything else. "Yes. He said in his country people were killed for committing adultery." Yeah, because, as deborah kindly informed me, they are. The jury looks over at Aman like he's a despicable example of a human being. Bobby's up for cross: "I take it when he said this he was very upset." Yes. "He had just found out you had been sleeping with his wife for three months." That's correct. Bobby asserts, "This was an angry husband blowing off steam, wasn't it?" Then, Emperor Rod puts the Eugene "take-down" into effect: "Did you report him to the police?" Well, if that worked for Scott Wallace, it should probably work here; we all learned last week that he is the magic defendant. Nope. The All-American Lover did not call the police. The smackdown continues: "So you didn't perceive that remark to be a threat on either your life or the life of Julie McGrath, did you?" Not at the time, no, the All-American Lover concedes.

The Firm. Lucy, the headset strangling her neck, shuffles up to Ellenor and starts pestering: "Was this artificial insemination or the old-fashioned way?" As she folds over the file she's pushing around on her desk, Ellenor cracks, "Despite our deepening friendship, I'm going to choose not to answer that." Cue Dr. Laura's trusty sidekick, Jimmy, to feel the need to interfere: "Aren't you a little scared, Ellenor, raising a kid alone, you think it's right?" Ellenor gives him the stink-eye and smacks him straight across the face. Oh wait, that was me, pretending I was Ellenor; she just repeats, "Do I think it's right?" He stumbles around his words for a while and backtracks; he meant to ask if Ellenor thought that working and being a mom was right for her. Calmly, but without revealing her obvious frustration with this absurd line of questioning from a moralistic bastard: "Obviously, this is something I've put a lot of thought in." Jimmy smiles, thanks her for answering his questions, and tries to retreat, but Ellenor doesn't let him get away: "You know, it doesn't seem to me as though you were asking anything, Jimmy. It sounds to me like you were commenting." He apologizes. She gives him the stink-eye and slams into the conference room. This cues the other pregnant lady, Lindsay, to follow her. A teary-eyed, blah dee blah let's not let our hormones get the better of us session ensues. Blah dee blah Ellenor just wants everyone to be happy for her, blah dee blah she thinks of The Firm as her family, blah dee blah my feelings are hurt, blah dee blah. Lindsay thinks Ellenor just needs to give them time to deal with the situation, then they'll celebrate. ["Everyone couldn't wait to celebrate for Lindsay. Nice double standard." -- Sars] Cue The Symphony Of Surprise Pregnancies to jump into action. There are tears. Why does she have to give everyone time to get over it: "Why not just be flush with happiness?" Blah dee blah because she's so happy. Lindsay tries to give the situation some perspective; she did just spring the news this morning. Oh, and then a piano infringes upon my last nerve.

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The Practice

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