The Practice
Dog Bite

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Dog Bite

Whoosh. Even when they don't go very far, we need to feel as though we've traveled across times zones on this darn show -- the conference room is right next door, for heaven's sake. We're back in Bobby's office with Kenny the Pimp. He's mulling over the plea bargain the DA offered. Ellenor's rushing him, because the jury could come back any second, and the two lawyers are anxious. With his hand on his chin in the true Socratic fashion only a pimp could muster, muttering "six months," Kenny decides to take the deal. "Argh! You are?" Ellenor slaps the couch and sighs, leaving Kenny to ask what the hell is going on, to which she responds: "A mistrial. That's what's going on here." Huh? Lindsay fills him in on the whole juror-talking-to-her-in-the-elevator situation. Kenny can hardly believe his good luck: "Am I missing something here? I mean, shouldn't we all be celebrating?" "Kenny, communication with a juror is pretty much an automatic mistrial," Ellenor says, adding, "we didn't tell you because then you couldn't trade on it, and what that juror says is irrelevant."

After her explanation, Ellenor sits down and explains to her client that they are probably going to have to try the whole thing all over again -- but wait! The Pimp starts, um, pimping. "Now are you saying that if we keep our mouths shut," he shuffles himself and his big black leather coat (I'm not joking here, really) around to sit in front of the two women, "that I'm looking at the big NG here?" Because only pimps talk like that: "I'm looking at an acquittal here!" Basically, he doesn't want them to go to the judge at all, which is both sneaky and dangerous, especially if things don't turn out in their favor. Thing is, no one wonders about the juror; no one wonders, even for a second, hey, is the elevator-inspired pick-up artist maybe not telling the truth? Oh wait, that's kind of what Lindsay hints at when she picks up the argument to go to the judge again. "We chalk it up to flirtatious banter -- you don't gotta go to the judge," the pimp pleads. He doesn't want to risk going to jail on a technicality. He can't even believe they're thinking about going to the judge. But hey, those are the rules, and they could both lose their licenses to practice law. "Our hands are tied, Kenny!" Kenny sits back down, ruffling his very long black leather overcoat. Essentially, Kenny the Pimp talks the two lawyers into keeping the whole jury-interaction thing under wraps.

Teddy "Peg Leg" Maynard and his lawyer are in Eugene's office, discussing strategy. Gene advises Teddy, who is sitting on the desk swinging his good leg, to tell his story the same way he told it to Eugene. "It was good?" Teddy asks. "What I told you -- 'cause I can change it if you think I need something better!" A one-legged, lying, stealing sidekick -- you would almost think that DEK had been watching too much Peter Pan and written himself a pirate from Never-Never Land into this script. Anyway, Eugene gets justifiably upset with Teddy's outright fibbing. Of course he didn't tell the truth; in fact, he thought that Eugene meant for him to make up a story. "But that didn't mean I told you to lie! Your story, the one you told me, that's a lie?" Eugene asks. Absolutely. The whole thing. One big fabrication. He absolutely robbed her. He robbed her because she was arrogant, even rude, and needed to be taken down a peg. Eugene can't put Teddy on the stand if he lies; he has no intention of supporting perjury. Back to Teddy, sniveling that his original story was the truth and that he was actually lying about it being a lie. Eugene's eyes roll back so far into his head that you wonder if they're ever going to re-surface. Teddy keeps yapping. He's worried that if he doesn't testify he'll end up convicted. Eugene agrees with this and they reach an agreement whereby Teddy's going to have to testify in the narrative. Which essentially means that Teddy sits in the witness chair, tells his story and Eugene isn't allowed to ask him any questions. "Oh, see, I can do that! See, I do better when I got the flow anyway -- see, it just comes!" Teddy says, "Mr. Young, you don't have to worry. I'm very good at this." Eugene ends the scene by bonking his client on the head and going nuk nuk nuk. ["Wise guy, eh?" -- Deborah]

Whoosh. We're in yet another part of the office. Mrs. Stevenson is asking Jimmy whether or not they should settle the lawsuit. "We can do better, Mrs. Stevenson. I really do believe that." Jimmy says. Susan is sitting beside her mother and is asked to go see Rebecca, whose duties now include babysitting along with general office management and bolstering Bobby's ego. Before she scuttles off to the basement of The Firm to hang out with Owen from Party of Five, Susan walks up to Jimmy and apologizes for biting the other lawyer. Mrs. Stevenson resumes her conversation with Jimmy. She doesn't want to put her daughter through this, and frankly neither would I; it must be traumatic. Jimmy insists that they can make a dent in the proceedings and wants to continue. "May I ask a question?" Mrs. Stevenson inquires. "When did you take over this case? Umm, I don't mean to criticize; I'm just curious, when was this case passed on to you?" See, Susan must really be in the basement with the rats, because Rebecca and Bobby are standing behind Jimmy and Mrs. Stevenson listening to their conversation. The instant the client starts doubting the new lawyer, Bobby leaps in to smooth things out: "Mrs. Stevenson. This is just the discovery part of the case. It's standard fact-finding." Mrs. Stevenson says, "I told you I didn't want to go to trial." She turns and looks at Bobby towering over her. "I know, but your case is in very capable hands with Jimmy here." And The Lump pipes up to defend himself: "Yeah, and I've been reading up on animal behavior and stuff -- I think we'll be able to up the settlement. I really do." You can tell she's not convinced, but she decides to go ahead regardless; she thanks them and makes her way out of the office.

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The Practice

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