The Practice
Dog Bite

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Dog Bite

Courthouse. Eugene stands up and calls Teddy to the stand. Teddy hops over to the stand with a huge clown-like grin on his face. Gene asks if he can approach; Judge Boucher waves them forward, and he and Renee sidebar. "Your Honour, as an officer of the court, I have to let my client testify in the narrative." With his hand over the microphone, Judge Boucher, a heavily bearded man who looks like Santa Claus, asks if Eugene really did try to dissuade Teddy from testifying. "I did!" he responds, but Renee gives a little "yeah right" under her breath to force Eugene to repeat his declaration: "I did!" The judge announces to the jury that they are deviating from the norm -- and explains that Mr. Maynard is simply going to state his version of the events in the narrative instead of being asked questions. The whole episode is so insulting that I am only going to give you the bare bones: "It was a cold dark night, kind of a clammy night, the kind of night where you knew something bad was going to happen." And ragdoll waits for the anvil. No, make that "ragdoll pleads for the anvil." Just. Make. It. Stop.

Cut to Jimmy deposing the doctor. Although he gets off-track a fair bit during the beginning of the deposition, The Lump does put the doctor through the ringer when it comes to his behavior at the dog park. Apparently, the doctor believes that the young girl made a sudden movement toward the dog, then startling him and causing Ross, the dog, to "nip" her. The doctor bought the dog as security and trained Ross himself, thus making him an expert on the behavior of these animals. "Huh," says Jimmy. "Are you aware that Rottweilers are an aggressive breed? More aggressive than most? Especially un-neutered males; they're the most aggressive." The doctor doesn't think he was aware of that particular fact, but yes, he could probably agree with Jimmy's conclusions. Again Jimmy impressively backs the doctor into a corner: "Now, you said you saw the little girl look into the eyes of the dog? Now you understand that a dog sees direct eye contact as likely to be interpreted by the dog as an aggressive challenge?" No, the doctor didn't know that. Frankly, neither did I. Anyway, The Lump moves on to the dog's diet, noting that Rottweilers are more aggressive when fed a high-protein diet. ["Strange . . . that's what I'm eating these days and it's having the opposite effect on me." -- Deborah] Again, the doctor didn't know that particular fact, about his own dog or about the breed in general; in fact, the oncologist owns a very dangerous animal that he really doesn't understand. In fact, he was chatting up a lady in the park with whom he had gone on three or four dinner dates, refusing to accept any responsibility for the actions of his pet. The scene ends with Jimmy taking the name and number of the woman he went out with and with Mr. Aggressive looking rather uncomfortable.

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The Practice

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