The Practice
Free Dental

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Free Dental

Whoosh! Helen pops into Richard's office to read him the riot act. He tells her not to start; she claims she just came to say hello. She gently says that he's lucky the judge didn't toss the case out. Richard insists he had to catch the defendant in a lie; Helen correctly points out that it was prosecutorial misconduct. He snipes, "Maybe you can live with seeing murderers walk; I can't." Helen is surprisingly good-natured and replies, "No, you can live with losing on appeal so long as you win at trial 'cause that's when the cameras are running." Richard's Napoleon complex grabs him by the testicles, or so it seems, because I can't imagine what else would compel him to speak to a superior this way: "You know, you used to sleep with one of their lawyers, you're living with another -- hey, maybe you're even sleeping with her." Or maybe David E. Kelley just could not resist yet another opportunity to suggest the idea of two bony straight women having sex. Talk amongst yourselves while I search for an expert to explain this fetish. Helen must have taken her meds, because she's uncharacteristically calm as she asks, "Does it make you feel better saying that?" Richard claims he'll do whatever he has to convict Fonzie, even if it means engaging in a smackdown with Richie, Ralph, and Potsie.

In the courtroom, it appears that Rebecca scared up an expert to testify about Olson's fetish. That was fast. Rebecca'd make a good lawyer, no? Expert Dude says it's called a "crush fetish," and while it's uncommon, it's not unique to Fonzie. He claims it's related to the Oedipus complex and asserts that when Fonzie was a toddler, he saw his mother frightened by a bug, after which she stepped on it. "Seeing a surge in his mother's adrenaline caused a similar adrenal surge in Dr. Olson." Allison fumes and looks down. "This is the typical genesis. For whatever reason, this adrenal rush becomes sexual as the boy grows older, to the point where one becomes aroused by seeing a female stomp on a bug." Now it's Richard's turn to question Expert Dude. "You've studied this?" he asks incredulously. Expert Dude says he's familiar with it. "Believe it or not, there is currently an American Journal of the Crush Freaks..." He also mentions that there's an "underground videotape industry." Richard, still incredulous, asks, "And that's what was going on with him?" Suddenly Fonzie's on the stand saying, "Yes. I would clean her teeth and she would step on cockroaches." He met her on the Internet (which, in DEK's world, is never anything but a seething mass of perverts, deviants, degenerates, and adulterers) and she offered to crush bugs in exchange for free teeth cleanings. And they say the barter system can't work. Bobby asks Fonzie if he ever told anyone else about his fetish. Fonzie says he once told his wife. Allison won't look at Fonzie right away. He confesses that he never told her that Ms. Poole was giving him some bug-crushing action on the side. As if we haven't already gotten the freaking point (because on a DEK show the sensational can never be overemphasized -- never, you understand?), Bobby says, "She would crush these bugs, you'd become aroused, run back to your office and..." Fonzie: "Yeah." He rubs his forehead and looks down.

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The Practice

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