The Practice
Gideon's Crossover

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: F | Grade It Now!
Crossover bore

A Therapist's Office Where They Talk About Pain. Helen's hair is scraped back into one of those horrible buns the hair and make-up people seem to favour. She and Amanda are sitting on an ugly floral couch surrounded by coral walls while being supervised by the therapist. Damn. No wonder the kid doesn't want to talk; they keep forcing her to sit on the ugliest couch in the universe while encased in four walls that are sure to incite a riot because they're just so darn plain. Okay, and to top it all off, Helen's blouse is the same peachy-coral colour they've painted the office. Who decorates this badly? Honestly, where did they find that couch? The flowers are almost as obtrusive as the ones Carrie wore all last season on Sex and the City. Helen coddles the young girl and tries to goad her into conversation: "Amanda. You're looking so much better." Helen glances over at the psychologist before she continues, "You know, we might need you to come tell what happened in court." The musical version of "Contrived Tragedy" echoes the girl's sentiments: "You said I didn't have to." The DA responds that it's possible she still might not have to testify, but they aren't sure just yet. Is the "man" going to be there? Okay, someone needs to break into ABC's lot, bust open the wardrobe trailer and remove every single BLUE EYELINER PENCIL from the premises. They've even enclosed Amanda's eyes in the stuff. Both she and Helen look like they've rolled onto the set after a night of heavy drinking; in LFB's case, I wouldn't be surprised, but I hardly think this young actress is out pulling Drew Barrymore-style all-nighters. Helen assures Amanda that although her rapist will be in the courtroom, there will be a lot of court officers and policemen (gender bias DEK's -- of course) present to protect her. The girl turns to face Helen: "What if nobody believes me?" Aw. Helen insists that Amanda doesn't need to worry about that, because making "them" believe the story is Helen's job: "You just have to tell them what happened." The piano dribbles: "Can you do that?" Amanda looks straight into the coral abyss and doesn't answer the question. Okay, people, we haven't even finished running the credits and we've already heard three different symphonies. Enough already.

Helen and the psychologist step outside the office. "She's so fragile right now. Is there anyway to get a continuance?" Helen tells her the judge is a "nightmare," and she can't see him giving them any more time. The psychologist insists that even a week would do Amanda some good: "She's in bad shape, Helen." The DA will try, but if Amanda has to testify, can she do it? Blah dee blah psychologist speak, blah dee blah the question is should she, blah bad guy in a nice suit blah, she'll be attacked by the defense lawyer crap blah. Helen nods in agreement, and then says, "I understand." Pause. Arm cross. "But is she ready to do it?" The therapist thinks Amanda is probably ready to testify, but Helen should really try to get her more time. Well, time is just not on their side, no, no it isn't, whoa. Oh.

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The Practice




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