The Practice
Life Sentence

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Life Sentence

Now it's time for some idiotic commercials. Afterward, Rebecca tries to talk to Bobby about the stupid wedding. Why, why, why does anyone care? Anyway, she lectures Bobby on his lack of involvement and says that she doesn't blame Princess for being mad at him. He claims all the details are "so trivial." Rebecca says it's a big deal to Lindsay, and that it's the biggest day of her life, and that should mean something to Bobby. He claims it does. Rebecca tells him to show her that, and lectures him to stop being on the hustle all the time and concentrate on Lindsay. "Lindsay's your life." Well, then, God help you, Bobby Donnell. He seems to consider Rebecca's words. I swear, Lisa Gay Hamilton's skills are just wasted on this stuff.

Helen is cross-examining Sally. She's wearing her severe little ponytail that is just so unflattering. Next time she renegotiates her contract she should insert a clause that protects her from having to wear her hair this way. Helen establishes that there was a lot of rational activity between Sally hearing about the arrest and shooting Whittier: retrieving the gun, cancelling an appointment, driving to the house, parking at a neighbour's house to be inconspicuous. She also gets Sally to admit that she keeps her gun in a combination safe, unloaded. When Helen's done, she says, "Ms. Berg, I am deeply sorry for your loss." Yes, well, that and two bucks will get you on the subway. As Helen starts to go back to her table, Sally says, "You're here to put me in prison, Miss Gamble. Don't tell me how sorry you are. Unless you've had a child taken from you, you can't begin to understand my loss." In response, Helen registers the slightest bit of emotion but says nothing. Sally is allowed to step down and Hiller tells the defence team to call the next witness. Eugene stands up, and much to everyone's surprise, announces, "The defence rests." In the breakout room, Ellenor slams the door and tells Eugene, "Explain that to me!" Eugene says he will; Ellenor starts ranting about how they didn't even call an expert. Well, if your expert's a guy known as "Dr. Dope," maybe you're better off. Eugene asserts that Sally was their strongest witness. He claims, "Better to rest on her than Dr. Dope, who Helen would have cleaned and boned like a trout." True. Ellenor believes they needed somebody to say Sally was insane. Eugene thinks otherwise. "Ellenor, our case won't depend on proving Sally Berg was insane. Everybody in the room knows she wasn't. We know it, the prosecution knows it, so does the jury. Our case is getting those twelve people to want to send her home, and Sally's testimony is what we need to ring in their ears. Not Dr. Lanning, who goes from courthouse to courthouse, collecting cashier's cheques. Our defence is emotion. We rest on the highest note." Jimmy agrees. Ellenor says they're forgetting about Hiller, who's going to instruct the jury. Eugene feels that if their case came down to Lanning's testimony, they'd be dead; Jimmy agrees again. Ellenor says, "It's a big risk." Eugene asks if she's ready to close; Ellenor replies, "Well, I guess I have to be." She's still miffed.

Oh, saints alive, it's another Bobby and Lindsay scene. These two just make me sick. Let's see if I can dispense with this efficiently: Bobby makes conciliatory noises toward Lindsay. She wonders why they always fight when they talk about the wedding. (Toot! Toot! Here comes the clue train, Lindsay, hop aboard: 1) You're both too self-centered, self-absorbed, obnoxious, arrogant, and insecure to understand, much less handle, true partnership; 2) big-ass weddings are dumb, especially when one partner would rather elope; 3) you two shouldn't be getting married until you both grow up, and deep down you both know it. Please have your tickets ready.) Bobby finally confesses that he hates weddings; Lindsay can't understand how a person can hate weddings. Easily, Princess. Especially if they have any experience with monstrous brides-to-be such as yourself. Bobby admits to hating weddings, and the pressure of making a wedding go smoothly (although how he would know much about this, I have no idea); but he claims that he is quite enthused about the idea of marriage. Lindsay wonders whether he'd really rather elope; he says he would. How many ways and times does he have to say it before it penetrates Princess' skull? Your guess is as good as mine. He would rather it was just the two of them, but acknowledges that it's her dream to have a big wedding. She wishes it was his dream too. I wish she wasn't too stupid to have noticed months ago that it's not his dream. He says he's only ever had two dreams: to pitch for the Red Sox, and to meet and marry the greatest woman in the whole world. I snort derisively, and Professor Frink says, "Well, you're 0 for 2, then." Bobby says, "One for two isn't bad." Memo to the Bobster: See Professor Frink's comments. Lindsay smiles, I guess because she figures she's going to get her way. That's the only time she ever smiles. Then Bobby makes a crack about her needing meds for her mood swings (Hello!) and she pretends like she's going to break his fingers. He cries uncle. I cry uncle. We all cry uncle. ["Me too! I cry uncle too!" -- ragdoll]

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The Practice

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