The Practice
Losers Keepers

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: B- | 1 USERS: A-
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Losers Keepers

Jimmy's house. He's walking down the hallway in a very gray building. With all the nun fear in the air, he's booby-trapped his apartment by duct-taping his door before he leaves. The seal is broken! A Dramatic Tone of Impending Doom floats over the scene as Jimmy glances up to see the ripped tape. He slowly removes his hand from his lock, leaving the keys in place, pulls out his cell phone, and calls the police. In a flash, and I mean a flash, the entire Boston Police Department is at his door. Jimmy's explaining, over the music of course, that he put the tape on after lunch, and now it's broken, and hell, no one's in there except for him. Detective McGuire, who's always on duty, asks if anyone's come out since Jimmy arrived. Okay, if someone did come out, wouldn't Jimmy be dead? So, asking if anyone came out is kind of a rhetorical question, right? The police whip out their guns as the camera watches them head into Jimmy's apartment. The music soars. The big drums gong. The door opens to find a dark apartment; slowly the police make their way inside, looking around, making sure everything is safe. The tension heightens as Jimmy follows them inside. Cymbals crash as the light in the bedroom flickers. Oh, lord, the stalker left a light on to let everyone know he or she was there! The police officers approach and make sure it's clear, only to bust the door down and scream: "Police, freeze!" Roberta Kittleson screams in horror as half of the Boston PD sees her in her birthday suit. In his confused, muddled way, Jimmy quavers, "Roberta?" Judge Beautiful orders all of them out while she scrambles to cover herself. For a minute, I'd confused her with Whipper from Ally McBeal. ["It's a bad idea to litter the television landscape with too many original ideas, so really, DEK's doing us a favour by illustrating the many ways to recycle a plot." -- deborah] The men are stunned. Kittleson's screaming. The whole thing is so ridiculous, I'm going to stop typing. Okay, I've started again. She came to surprise him. Jimmy's surprised. The audience wasn't. We've seen this one before -- that's happening a lot lately.

The Firm. Jimmy's telling a tall, but truthful, tale of his own. "Naked. Naked?" Eugene says as his mug bursts on-screen. Jimmy describes Roberta's surprise visit. This is a ridiculous story. Enough said. Little Miss Can't Be Wrong walks in with Ellenor. They're discussing the impending move, and Lindsay informs Bobby, "Ellenor's going to move into Helen's place so I'll need to sleep at your place tonight." She doesn't ask if it's okay. She doesn't even stop as she moves toward her desk. Lucy snaps, "Sounds romantic!" Until the massive drop-kick to her head from Queen Bitch Lindsay drops her into a coma. Eugene decides to leave the drop-kicks to Lindsay and busts a move to court. He's second chair with Rebecca. As Lindsay inspects her desk while the other lawyers stand in front of her, she exclaims that the stalker has been there again, and had held a notebook. Get this, she can smell him -- his cologne, that is. As the Drum of Daring Intruders bangs away in the background, Ellenor takes her own whiff of the book. Lindsay's shaking. "It's him!" she says in response to Ellenor being unable to smell anything. ["That's an awful lot of cologne you'd have to be wearing to leave the scent on a notebook. What. Ever." -- deborah]

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The Practice

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