The Practice
Officers Of The Court

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Officers Of The Court

Previously on The Practice: The Emperor Rod continues his quest to free Scott Wallace from his captivity, but fails as the judge refuses to throw out the verdict and order a new trial. Meanwhile, we watch The Runt coach a witness, then said witness lies on the stand and Helen goes to the defense with her information. Mrs. Jamison testifies, they win their trial and damages totaling $72 million. Judge Pickle-Up-His-Butt knocks the number down to less than $400,000. Lindsay is upset, but Ellenor, well, she's pissed.

In the front seat of a car, Jimmy's doing his best "Hugh Grant with a heart" impression by giving $60 to a young girl. They argue about the money for a while, you don't have to do that, no, please take it, thanks Jimmy, you're a good kid Jennifer, don't be doing this. "Thank you," says Tracy Middendorf, the bride from Ally McBeal's obscene car wash sex fiasco, before bolding lying to the Lump: "I will pay you back." Jimmy entertains her for a while, asks her to wipe the make-up off her face, and says, "In the meantime, get a paper route or something -- don't be doing this."

County Jail. The Melody of Mistaken Heroines plays as we see Jimmy rub his hand over his forehead. The camera pauses for a heavily instrumental second as we notice that Jennifer "Good Girl" Cole is in her third trimester. A pregnant pause! That's where they were going with that. A mixture of disgust and disbelief appears on Jimmy's face as the girl sits down to greet him. "You're having a kid?" he snorts. "You didn't tell me that! How could you still be doing drugs!" The dirty-haired, washed-out "supposed" drug addict explains that it was just this one time. Which is, of course, what they all say. Because we can never get beyond the stereotypes here on The Practice. Apparently, Billy left her, and left her like this. Meaning, what -- that he left her addicted to crack or pregnant? What. Ever. Jimmy wants to know why she's not in rehab. Despite her greasy hair, her eyeliner's perfect. Jennifer says she lost the number. The Melody rushes up again as Jimmy asks her how far along she is. "About eight months." In a hushed, mouse-like voice, for who could actually hear her over the wallowing music that accompanies this pathetic scene: "Can you get me out?" They bicker about smoking crack and being pregnant; Jennifer says she'll do the rehab, she'll do anything. Jimmy is revolted by her addiction. She begs for him to "just get her out." Frankly, my dinner is screaming the very same thing from my stomach right about now. Jimmy makes no promises, but says, "If I get you out -- you go into rehab immediately from the courthouse." The Melody approaches its final pass, knocking both of them out with its crescendo, as Jennifer makes a thinly veiled promise. The Lump looks serious: "Tell me about the arrest."

Whack. Bang. Crack. The sound of ragdoll trying to find her earplugs before the credits threaten to deafen her. Wait, what's really going to deafen ragdoll is the magnitude of a shout-out she's just discovered. Camryn Manheim now appears in the credits before Marla Sokoloff. Wham. Bam. That's an Empire State Building-sized shout-out.

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