The Practice
Officers Of The Court

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Officers Of The Court

Courthouse. Helen chases Richard down the hall. She has even smaller boobs than Ally McBeal and believe you me, I didn't think that was possible. Has this woman eaten in days, months, even years? Anyway, she wants to know if Richard has had the Wallace file removed from her office, which of course he has. They bicker for a while. An artist wearing oven mitts has applied her eye make-up -- it's that smudged. She reiterates that her actions against the Runt were not personal. He doesn't buy it and continues to give her the cold shoulder. Helen knows the score: "Suddenly I'm a piranha in the department and you're choosing to distance yourself. That's fine. But don't forget that your career was hanging by a thread a few months ago and I'm the one who stood with you." She calls him a hypocrite and a coward: "Please do take that personally." Richard attempts a stink-eye, but his face just barely reaches her non-existent breasts.

Whoosh. Jennifer Cole is mad and pregnant. And a crackhead. "You lied to me!" Jimmy wriggles under the pressure, but admits she has a good chance of kicking the case. He plays the moral card again: "You're still using. I'm trying to keep you safe." She doesn't budge. In fact, she fires Jimmy. And it's not one of those Helen firings where you actually get to keep your job. She asks him to leave, and he grudgingly does as she asks. Her hair is greasy again. The music swells as Jimmy asks for the guard and lets her stew for a while. You know, for a crackhead, she's strangely calm and collected after spending an entire night and almost another day in jail without a fix. In fact, she's the most well-adjusted drug addict I think I've ever seen. Way to go with the "reality" part of "realistic" television, DEK.

Courthouse. Ellenor's hearing. She presents her evidence in front of a large, looming panel of judges. A Judge Emmerson explains that judges try to steer decisions all the time; Ellenor responds that this wasn't steering but a threat. Judge Wanker wants to respond: "If I was guilty of poor judgment, it was allowing any award." Blah de blah I made the right decision, blah de blah Ms. Frutt should be happy with my generosity. Ellenor rebuts, "You chipped a $72 million award down to $400,000 out of a sense of charity?" It continues on like this for more than a few minutes, Ellenor states her case, and Judge Jackass refuses to concede any guilt.

Whoosh. Courthouse. Susan and Public Defender A are arguing Jennifer's case. He argues that the prosecution, in order to make their case, needs to show specific intent, and they have failed to do that here. Susan explains that intent can be inferred. Judge Spindle interrupts and does Public Defender A's job by insisting that the legislation does not refer to the ability of pregnant women to distribute cocaine to their fetus. Susan tries to get the judge to hold her over until the baby is born to protect the child; Spindle refuses. A Celebratory Crackhead March swells in the background as Spindle dismisses the charges and sets Jennifer free. She and her dirty hair brush past DA Susan, but are stopped at the door by The Lump: "Let's go." Jimmy says. Where? To rehab, we go, we go, we're off to rehab we go! She refuses, and charges right out the door into the nearest crack house. Come on, that's what you were thinking, right? We all know what's coming, people.

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The Practice

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