The Practice
Public Servants

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: C- | 1 USERS: A+
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May he please rest in peace

Sarah Jessica Parker + hair-colour commercials = bad.

Helen’s Office Where She Wallows In Her Fake Pain. Lindsay comes in and puts a hand on Helen’s shoulder. I shudder. She sits. No one thinks Helen is fine. Lindsay wants to know why she’s even working. O Helen La Martyr says she has things to do. Lindsay: “You’re giving the eulogy?” Helen says mournfully, “One of them.” Just take the lance and drive it all the way through the heart. Oh, yeah, ouch, right, there, that’s the death spot, please hurry, I can’t take this crap any longer, contrivance, oh damn, there she goes again. Helen starts rambling on about how “just yesterday” she and Lindsay were just “kids in school,” and I could bleed to death from a pinprick faster then this scene is played. Blah they were talking about their dreams, barf and blah. La dee da Lindsay’s married, blah dee blee she’s a mother, blah dee blah they’ve had friends killed. Oh, they are just not kids anymore. That’s because The Practice sucks the inner child right out of you, and I used to like my inner child.

Wendell’s Throbbing Trial Of Pain. A coroner is testifying. He determined that Mrs. Foresly died from asphyxiation due to drowning. Judge Beautiful looks coy. She does that well. The coroner found bruising around her neck, so they ruled the death a homicide. Cut to Rebecca’s cross-examination. She pulls out a lot of possibles: it’s possible she hit her head before drowning; it’s possible the bruises were post-mortem. The coroner does admit this is remotely possible.

The Courthouse Of Painful Legacies. Helen accosts a police captain, who offers his condolences for her loss. For some reason, everyone is deferring to Helen like she’s a freaking widow or something. They were just co-workers, and up until about four episodes ago, they hated each other. Helen explains the situation: she’s gotten Jackie to agree to a tentative deal. She hands off the name and address of Richard’s murderer to this captain, who is not Detective Mike. Then Helen yammers on about how the shooter won’t hesitate to take hostages or shoot his way out of a situation. This captain looks like Ed Bundy. The DA suggests to the POLICE CAPTAIN that they apprehend the shooter outside at night. They have a good chance to do so, because he leaves for work around nine. The captain verifies that the information comes from Cahill, which is complete crap, because we all saw Helen walk away after Jackie gave up the name and address. He never said anything about a night job or a particularly violent hit man. Helen also tells the captain that the subject “carries at all times,” so the cop should be sure his men “protect themselves.” Without suggesting, oh, I don’t know, that the POLICE INVESTIGATE, this captain merely falls prey to Helen’s apparent charms: “We’ll take him tonight.” They part, but not without an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Oh, Wendell Testifies To Pain. Blah his wife was face down in the pool, blah he jumped in to get her, and he tried to resuscitate her, but it was no use. Rebecca, wanting to prove the bruises were post- and not pre-mortem, leads Wendell into explaining that he tried twice to pull his wife out of the pool. The first time was unsuccessful; he grabbed her arm but couldn’t get any “leverage.” Did you grab her neck while trying to get her out of the pool? Perhaps. How long did it take him to actually get her out of the pool? He admits that it might have taken him a few minutes. The first time he went down he was “unsuccessful” and had to come back up to the surface for air. All told, it might have been a few minutes before he was able to cart the body out of the water. Judge Kittleson does not look impressed. Rebecca continues -- does Wendell remember what he did after he pulled her out of the pool? Yes. He tried to revive her, and then he called 911. Insert totally gratuitous replaying of the emergency call here. Insert Song Of Solemnity here as said gratuitous tape plays. Insert stupid, redundant question by defense attorney, tie it all up with a little confusion by the client as to the time of his wife’s death, and you pretty much have all you need to know. Cut to DA Bullock completely dismantling the client’s “oh I was in shock” defense. Rebecca objects to Bullock’s sarcasm, and the judge sustains the objection. The DA asks Wendell if Mrs. Foresly was a good swimmer. This too is a redundant question, as the prosecutor goes on to remark that Mrs. Foresly was a competitive swimmer in college. Bullock goes on to poke some more holes in Wendell’s already faulty defense. Blah his office is at the other end of the house, blah what made him think his wife was in the pool, blah why didn’t he think she was in her room, blah Bullock you made your point blah.

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The Practice

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