The Practice
The Case Of Harland Bassett

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Humble Harland

Outside The Courthouse Where Harland's Beating The Pain. Harland takes Annie and her parents to the witness room, leaving Jimmy and Eugene to ruminate about what just happened in there. Jimmy says, "Am I crazy? He was good in there." Eugene looks dumbfounded. The Lump is excited; they put on their case, the defense just put up their first witness, and they're still in this. Yeah, but now come their big guns. Jimmy's point: No one is laughing. Except me; I'm giggling over here. It could be the lack of oxygen. I think Harland sucked it out of my living room with his paper bag.

Break. Oh, Ben Affleck telling Matt Damon off for not getting the hell out of Boston. Oh, Ben and Matt drinking beer and looking dirty.

Argh. Courthouse Of Painful Testimonials. The defense has another eighty-year-old "expert" on the stand. Blah creating a drug is expense blah, hundreds of millions of dollars blah, Judge McDonald yawns blah. The FDA has a long and drawn-out process. Their approval is the "gold standard." According to this crotchety old dude, the United States has the most "rigorous" approval process in the world. Of course it does. Blah. Did Hayden Laboratories comply with the FDA process? Absolutely. Cut to Harland noting that eleven different drugs have been pulled off the market regardless of their FDA approval. Full speed ahead Harland. All guns blazing. On a galloping horse, he goes merrily along. Rebbie tries to object. Harland counters with a little "they opened the door by stating the FDA was the gold standard" routine. The judge overrules the objection. Harland rattles off the deaths due to drugs the FDA approved as the doctor barely keeps up with his "yes" responses. The doctor argues the fact that these drugs were withdrawn proves that the FDA is doing its job. Harland argues that the fact that the FDA approved Reflexin does not establish that the drug is safe. The doctor concedes, "There are never any guarantees." Word. Okay, there is a fake juror making fake-juror faces. She scrunches up her nose and shakes her head at that last bit of testimony. It's probably the worst fake juror face I've ever seen in my life. I think this woman is perhaps taking Method Acting just that little bit too far: "I am the juror. I will decide. I am the juror. The decision will be mine."

Blah Reflexin Dude Blah. Blah Reflexin saves lives blah. Blah fancy blue suit, yawn and blah. Is it safe? Yes. When it's used as directed. Pharmacy Dude states that Reflexin is not for use by children; he doesn't think it caused Annie Mullen's injuries, but the drug never should have been prescribed. Apparently, the label is clear; what else can we do? Pharmacy Dude doesn't want to be held responsible for every careless doctor who refuses to heed the warnings. Cut to Harland, who leans into Eugene and asks him to take the cross because he's feeling overwhelmed. Insert some heavy breathing for effect here. Eugene replies, "I don't think we should just let that witness sit hanging with the jury. The sooner we diffuse it -- the better." Harland summons his super-strength, stands, and launches into total disintegration mode: the FDA advisory committee was comprised of twelve doctors, seven of whom have ties to Hayden Laboratories. Hum. Pharmacy Dude doesn't think that's relevant to anything. Hum. Tell that to Noam Chomsky. It's all a conspiracy theory. The drug industry is the major source of funding for the doctors. If the study doesn't come out the way the drug company wants it to, the doctors won't get funding. Hum. Harland slices to the left, slices to the right, and finally drives the dagger right through the middle of this witness's chest. Blah: the Pharmacy Dude argues the doctors are going to do what's right, and not be influenced by their money. Ahem -- I know DEK's smart and all, but isn't the defense's case built around the fact that the doctor in Annie's Mullen's case did not do the right thing? That she did not prescribe the medication as the company instructed? Wouldn't Harland just have to argue that Pharmacy Dude has just completely contradicted himself? Hum. Law school. Yes. This is Ragdoll calling. Do you have a place for me? I've learned all about courtroom drama from The Practice, does that prepare me for you? You'll see? Lovely. Expect me in September. Now, back to the case: blah FDA approval timeline blah. The application period for Reflexin was only six months, compared to the regular one-year approval period. Harland: "Do you think the FDA might have caught the problems with Reflexin if they took the normal approval time?" Harland's voice crescendos on the word "normal" and then collapses back on "time." He's taking elocution lessons from The Emperor. Mr. Reflexin argues that there were no problems to catch. Bassett takes a long stroll past the jury box and passes Annie so everyone can take a good look at her. He echoes, "No problems to catch?" He picks up some papers and asks Mr. Reflexin, "What is an adverse drug report?" Damn. It's a form filled out by a doctor when a patient suffers an adverse reaction that might -- he stresses "might" -- be related to a prescription drug. You know Reflexin? Yeah, there are six such claims, and six reports, according to the experts, translates to six hundred actual complications. Whew. Mr. Reflexin isn't flexing so well anymore. He looks a little, um, flummoxed. Go Harland, go Harland, go Harland go. The Anti-Reflexin Reverie rails to Pharmacy Dude's defense, but it's too late. The crushing boulder of defeat thus far reserved for Helen Gamble has finally fallen upon someone else.

Witness Room Of Upending The Pain. Harland is still breathing into his paper bag. Jimmy leans in and screams, "You did great!" The rest of Team Reflexin Bites The Dust walks into the room. Mrs. Mullen wants to know what they do next. The Lump explains that it's time for closing arguments: "A good close. We have a chance." There is a knock at the door. It's Rebbie. Harland hides his paper bag. Rebbie wants to get together. Jimmy: "Here comes the offer." Oh my god! Oh! Ah! Gasp! Eugene calmly suggests they pick a number. Harland offers, "Six hundred!" Eugene: "They won't pay that much." Harland, "Two!" Heh. Eugene thinks four hundred thousand is possible.

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