The Practice
The Confession

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Ragdoll: F | Grade It Now!
Enemy Of The State

Restaurant Of Nauseous Pain. Surprisingly, Helen's not eating. Richard "The Runt" Bay is chowing right down, but his co-worker is acting a little forlorn: "Do you think I was wrong?" Of course he doesn't think she's wrong. Richard: "Of course we're allowed to lie. That's why I went into law." Ha. Then he rambles on about the disgraceful defense lawyers. Helen admits that she felt a little "greasy." But there was a higher purpose, because without the confession, Eddie will go free. Richard doesn't think she has anything to apologize for. I'm feeling a deep sense of déjà vu as Helen says, "I need the speech." Oh. My. Lord. It's the tsunami speech all over again, and Richard always rises to the bait. A seasoned lounge piano careens away in the background as Richard gathers up his momentum and launches into the "speech." There's no need for me to recap this scene; it's exactly the same as the one from "Checkmates." Helen is convinced. I've taken a nap, had a shower, washed my kitchen floor and finished eight loads of laundry, and Richard is still talking. Finally, he's interrupted by Helen's beeper beeping -- Kittleson's made her decision.

The Fake Courthouse Of Feeling All The Pain In The World. Mr. Reid is carrying his now-motherless child as Helen walks toward the courtroom. Helen asks after the boy. Mr. Reid is all about business: "Is this unusual? That the judge would rule so fast?" Helen's hoping it's a good sign; if she were going to depart from the Supreme Court, the DA thinks she would have taken a day or two to consider her decision. Oh. Lord. Now enter The Scene Of Utmost Clichés as Karen Larson approaches Mr. Reid, looking like she's about to burst into tears. She leans in: "I basically raised him myself." Well, you didn't do such a good job, and I wouldn't be touting that as a reason for your humility, lady. "He's had some problems with drugs but he would never intentionally hurt a person." Karen's eyes well up with fake tears as she says she's "so sorry for his loss." Why oh why does the family of the defendants always confront the victims? Why? This episode should really be called "The One Where Nothing Actually Happens But When Something Does Happen, It Is Dramatic, And Boy, Aren't All The Viewers Bored Stiff." ["I don't think that'll fit on the 'Past Episodes' page, but I'll see what I can do." -- Sars]

All rise in The Courtroom Of Pain. Kittleson: "Ms. Gamble, while I understand your gallant pursuit of justice, it is unfortunate you choose to do so at the expense of your own integrity." She holds her hands out in a sweeping gesture: "As well as that of the process." She accepts the Supreme Court's decision and finds that Helen's actions did not violate the Constitution. The motion to suppress the statement on those grounds is denied. Now I get confused, because Kittleson goes on to lecture the room about the state Constitution that, without binding precedent, she is charged to interpret. Okay, so here she finds that, within Massachusetts, the police must inform the defendant when a lawyer is trying to contact them. Helen stands up: "Your Honour." Kittleson smacks her bony ass back down in the chair. Roberta is frustrated with the fact that Helen lied to defense counsel. She points to Helen: "We are the system, Ms. Gamble." And then I half expect the Village People to come dancing on set. Shake your groove thing. Ya. Ya. Ya. "The players have to play honestly." Then she suppresses the statement even though a minute ago she denied the motion to suppress the statement. And while The Symphony Of Seriously Bad Decisions plays up a storm in the background, Helen looks down at her table in defeat. That's all, folks. They have insufficient evidence to hold Eddie, and the case is dismissed without prejudice. After Judge Beautiful adjourns the session, Eddie violently shakes Jimmy's hand in thanks. Then he and his sister embrace. Mr. Reid is astounded. Helen is totally disappointed in herself. Go team D-Fence; kick her back on side once again.

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The Practice




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