The Practice
The Deal

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Too Many Plots 'R' Us

Last week on The Practice: William Hinks pretended not to be a serial killer. And then he changed his mind. He's found not guilty. Lindsay feels very guilty for defending a man who murders and mutilates women. For the millionth time, we see the Saga of Scott Wallace. Then, we're so sick of seeing the Saga of Scott Wallace, we could care less that Bobby wins the case and sets the big baby free.

The Firm. Bobby and Ellenor are walking into the office. He's rambling on about her taking a "full maternity leave." The Emperor has a dilemma. If both Ellenor and Lindsay are off with their brooding babies, he's going to have to "think about hiring." Wait, I have a solution, Bobby -- why don't you just give Rebecca something to do? Her plate is never full. Oh, the trials of an Emperor. As they walk further into the office, the camera pauses on Lucy, who's complaining to her local business supply store about the size of her binders. She's got a ruler against them and everything. I'm actually shocked that Lucy's doing her "real" job and not advising some ill-begotten client about his or her wardrobe choices. She's still on the phone with the supplier as Francis Lupino comes in demanding to see Bobby. Lucy gestures that she'll be off the phone momentarily. He shouts, "It's urgent!" She sort of ignores him, gestures again, and continues talking. Francis then grabs the phone from Lucy's ear and slams down the receiver. He's quite the non-gentleman. However, regardless of his rude behaviour, he's not entirely in the wrong; the receptionist code of ethics does state one should put the call on hold, tend to the client, and then resume talking on the phone. Lucy gives Francis the stink-eye. In fact, Lucy gives Francis a stink-eye with a little lip curl thrown in. It's a stink-eye of Billy Idol proportions.

Bobby's Office. Francis is complaining about the police. He believes he's "taking a surveillance [sic]." The Emperor crosses his hands in front of him, does his best impression of Buddha, and says, "Okay." Instantly, he's interrupted by Francis "Mobster" Lupino screaming about the literal significance of Bobby's use of "okay." Because, well, apparently, "it's not okay." Francis continues, "I need your advice, Counselor." He postures for a minute, breathes some smoke, and barks, "Have you been watching the news? The kidnapping of that little girl?" Bobby snakes his eyes around and back for a minute. "The Engel girl?" Francis snarls. The Emperor raises his voice: "Trevor Engel's girl. The ransom? That little girl?" There is a heady pause. Francis shifts his weight from back to front and back again: "I know something about it." The Glory of Gross Defendants matches the Emperor's stare as he asks, "What do you know?" Francis turns his back to Bobby and explains that he knows where the little girl is. Shockingly, Rod's hands have remained pretty much in Buddha position during this entire scene. He wants Francis to tell him where the little girl is located. The creep responds, "Locked up." Oh, my bad, Bobby starts wrenching his fingers around one another like they were a piece of red licorice: "Is she alive?" A guitar bonks its way into the scene. This is not a melody, people. This is a series of notes. This is a series of incredibly painful, incredibly non-related noisy notes. Francis thinks she's still alive. Jerk. The two of them discuss how to inform FBI about the little girl's whereabouts while keeping Francis's name out of the whole mess. They argue. The guitar bonking changes to a heady cello. I think the orchestra should try the sitar. Now that's a cool instrument. Francis tosses his head around in anger for a minute, but he ultimately buckles under the Emperor's steely blue-eyed stare: "What if I bring you to where she is?" Pause. "But you take over from there." Pause. Bonk. Pause.

Roll crappy credits.

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The Practice

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