The Practice
The Deal

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Too Many Plots 'R' Us

Sigh. Holland Taylor's too busy creating awful characters on second-rate sitcoms. I'm sad we don't see much of her anymore.

The Firm. Bobby and Eugene are arguing about the logistics of Rod accompanying his sleezeball client to where he's stashed the girl. Eugene, of course, is the logical one: "You can't go with him!" The Emperor grabs hold of a chair that promptly splinters beneath his grasp: "I know, but this is a little kid." Eugene counters, "But this is not what lawyers do!" He then goes on to explain the legal complexities -- that is, about how Bobby could be arrested for conspiracy if the police found the two of them at the scene. The Emperor insists, "But she could be alive!" Eugene wants to know why Francis just won't give up the girl. Bobby insists they know "how Francis is." Yeah. The big butthead "always needs to be in control." As Eugene and Bobby continue their conversation, you hear Lucy yelling from the front of the office, "Hey! What are you doing?"

Outside of Eugene's office, a bunch of extra-cops are cuffing and carting poor Francis off to the clinker. Richard "The Runt" Bay rips into the scene. Everyone starts yelling. Bobby screams that the DA has no right to bust into the office. Bay screams that Bobby has no right to harbor a kidnapper. Ellenor says something, but I don't really hear, or don't particularly care, what. Instantly, they're dragging the poor kidnapper off to the county jail as Bobby's yelling the last-minute instructions: "Do not say a word, Francis! I'll meet you down at the courthouse." Pause. "Do not say a word!" The "pause" has become their favourite "dramatic" tool. Barf.

Scott Wallace brushes into the office without even taking note of the police, the DA, and a man in handcuffs as he looks for Bobby. The Emperor tries to brush him off but with no avail. Scott continues, "They fired me." The Emperor tries to dismiss Scott because he does have an emergency on his hands. Eugene tells him to get a move on it, but Wallace just doesn't get the hint. He's the Pauly Shore of The Practice. Finally, after grabbing Scott's shoulders and squeezing him like a mustard bottle, Bobby pawns him off on another partner. Scott huffs, but does as he's told and stomps off into the conference room. "Ellenor," Bobby screams, "Jimmy. Deal with Scott, whatever he needs." It's a busy morning. The phone is bursting. It's all Lucy can do to actually answer it: "Lindsay." Mrs. Rod turns to face the receptionist, who continues, "Are you here for William Hinks? He's on two." Murderers' March informs us Lindsay hasn't quite come to terms with the events of last week. She stumbles around for a minute until she instructs Lucy to cover for her. A violin pierces my ear as we hear Lucy make excuses for Lindsay. The music wails as we watch Lucy write the number on a sticky note and pass it to a very concerned-looking Lindsay. Who would have ever thought a phone message could be such a weapon of torture.

Pop over to the conference room, where "Prima" Scott "Donna" Wallace is wondering whether or not his firm needs cause to fire him because he's a "partner for god's sake." Apparently, he wasn't even afforded due process. Jimmy asks whether he was simply voted out by the other partners. "Evidently," Scott says, "but they're like sheep. Harry calls all the plays." Calmly, Ellenor asks, "And the reason they gave you?" Scott replies, "It's not working out." Poor guy. He gets accused of murdering his wife, gets thrown in jail, goes through a tough trial, and then gets acquitted, only to lose his job. Yeah, I'd feel sorry for him too. That is, if I cared. Anyway, he can't believe after eighteen years the only explanation afforded him was "it's not working out." Ellenor explains that if Scott's partnership agreement is anything like the ones for law firms, the partners pretty much have blanket authority to do as they please. Scott insists he'll never find another job with the whole "murdered his wife" thingy hanging over his head. He needs to keep his job. A conciliatory Ellenor then offers to meet with Harry and his attorney to try to work something out. Scott squeaks out a tense "fine" in response. Aw, poor baby misses his Bobby. Aw, poor baby. Yawn.

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The Practice

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