The Practice
The Means

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Deborah: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Written by: David E. MachiaKelley

We're watching a news report showing footage of rioting and looting. The news reporter is saying that there's a lot of controversy about the relocation of the trial of Aaron Wilton (the defendant) to outside of Boston. She also wonders whether he can receive a fair trial in suburban Wellesley. He's in Bobby's office; he shuts off the television. Eugene's also there, as well as Aaron's wife. "'The African-American accused of aggravated assault.' That's...that's what they're calling me, instead of 'The guy who was trying to stick up for an innocent guy accused of shoplifting' -- I'm the African-American who caused the riots, and I don't get to tell my side?" Bobby points out that if Aaron testifies, his old conviction can be brought into it. Is there anyone on this planet who doesn't know this? It only comes up on every other law-and-order show ever televised. His wife protests that that conviction was "a hundred years ago," and that he was eighteen at the time. Dude looks pretty good for 118. Eugene says the jury doesn't need to hear about it. Aaron complains that the jury is all-white. Eugene tells him that's what they get in Wellesley and that they didn't have a choice. Bobby says it just gives them greater grounds for appeal. That Bobby, always thinking ahead. Aaron complains that he has a business degree from UMass, and that he's the vice-president of a Fortune 500 company, and that all he did was go shopping for some cross-trainers and suddenly he's big news? Bobby explains that he's big news because he threw a guy through a window. Aaron looks dismayed.

In the outer area of the office, Lindsay, who looks about fourteen, and Ellenor are looking at a scrapbook with a couple. Ellenor says, "It really was the perfect wedding." The female half of this couple, whom I pretty much hate on sight, says, "Well, it's not polite for me to say, but people did tell us it was the most elegant affair they'd ever been to!" Ugh. The male half of the couple asks Ellenor nicely if she had a good time, and says they didn't really get a chance to see her. Ellenor says there were a lot of people there, and that she was sitting at the cousins' table. The woman jabs a picture in the book a few times, rambling about how the dress she's pointing to was completely handmade. Ellenor's had enough of her cousin Myra's perfect wedding and asks her why she's there. Myra's aggrieved about her honeymoon. She wants to sue the "idiot travel agent, Gracie Kramer." Myra calls Gracie "a giant fart." Lindsay repeats this gently. Myra's list of complaints includes being put in business class, getting a subcompact car instead of a sedan, and being put up in a hotel that was supposed to be adults-only but wasn't. Myra's voice is whining and nasal and she has that bossy, pushy manner of gesturing by pointing her finger around wildly. I'm liking her less with each passing second. Ellenor explains that it can be very hard to sue travel agencies. Myra's all, "What about my emotional stress and physical hardship?" Her husband explains that on the first day, she tripped on an inflatable seahorse and pulled a hamstring. Myra asks if she can be open with Ellenor, and tells her that they never even got to consummate their marriage. Lindsay half-rolls her eyes, and the husband smiles sheepishly. Ellenor asks if she's prepared to air that aspect in court. Myra snorts, "My happiness is at stake here and if I have to drag whatever into court, I don't care, because I want her to pay!" Lindsay says, "The giant..." And Myra points at her and says, "Fart." I'm trying really hard to remember why I used to think this was a good show.

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The Practice

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