The Practice
The Thin Line

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: C | 1 USERS: A+
The Not-So-Long Road Home

The Hospital. The doctor is in the room now, and he is about to do the pelvic exam. Damn (close your ears boys), pelvic exams are rough at the best of times. I can't imagine what a woman who has been brutally raped must go through. Lucy's brow is furrowed as she stands near the young woman. Maddie doesn't know if she can do the pelvic exam. The doctor trots out the usual "try to relax your muscles" line. Little Lucy leans in toward the victim: "Do you want to hold my hand?" The Beatles swoon. Lucy wants to know if they can get a female doctor once Maddie has trouble, but she declines. She can do it. As the doctor explains the procedure, the March of Maddie starts up to help her through this difficult time. Lucy starts to stutter, and then she breathes in sharply; Caroline notices her obvious discomfort, and tells her to go get some cream. Lucy closes her eyes. She looks like she's going to pass out, but as she goes, Maddie reaches out and grabs onto Lucy's hand, and the two of them are wired together like an electrical bolt of need. After the pelvic is completed, the doctor explains that Caroline will finish the rape kit, but we don't see any of this; all we get to see is the stupid, smug smile on Lucy's pre-pubescent face. Ah, everything will now be okay with the simple clutching of their hands. Pul-ease.

The Firm. Eugene is dictating. Or should I say: Eugene is working through his dictatorship. They've got a decision to make. Does he or does he not testify at his own trial? The Emperor scoffs, "What are you talking about? How do I not testify? I'm the only one to refute Neal's testimony." You know, if I were Bobby, knowing that I was going to ask a known felon to go over and "talk" to Hinks, I would have taped my conversation with him for back-up. They could have avoided all of this mess with a ten-dollar tape recorder from Radio Shack. Ellenor notes that if Bobby does testify, he'll cop to the fact that he did ask Neal to go over there, and under the felony murder law, that's all the evidence they need to convict. Lindsay, who has stopped crying specifically so she could bring her bitchy side to this meeting, argues, "The jury will assume Bobby sent him there. Why -- " Ellenor interrupts, "An assumption isn't proof." Eugene: "But if you say you sent him." Ellenor: "That is proof." Everyone at the table looks at their cuticles. You never saw a batch of more interesting cuticles. Jimmy pipes up, "The question is where you stand now. Was Neal convincing?" Well, Ellenor admits he wasn't terrible. Lindsay wants to know how they explain Neal going to Hinks's house if Bobby doesn't testify. The Emperor's arm slides along the table, around the other side, and clamps down on his wife's shoulder as if to say: "Good one, honey." Eugene thinks that they'll be handing them their case if Bobby gets up there and says he sent him. It could be "case over." Lindsay counters, "We've already lost on that issue. Everyone in that courtroom knows that Bobby sent him." Oh, no they don't know that, Lindsay. She argues, "If Bobby doesn't deny that he sent him there to kill Hinks -- " The Emperor interjects something about breaking and entering. I get up, walk to my kitchen, make a sandwich with the yummy fake meat slices, grab the cucumber, slice some of that up, read my mail, write a novel, read Tolstoy, walk a hundred miles, and come back to the entire Firm STILL ARGUING about whether or not Bobby's going to testify. Jimmy thinks that under the felony murder law, Rod's already lost. He's got to take the stand and make the jury want to set him free. He's got to become the uber-defendant. Point to Lump. Hear-hear from Rebecca and Lindsay. Do I hear a decision finally being made? Does this mean I won't have time to actually eat my sandwich? The Emperor purses his lips and emphatically states, "Okay. I'm testifying." Thank goodness we fade into commercials so that I actually can eat that sandwich.

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The Practice




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