The Practice
The Thin Line

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: C | 1 USERS: A+
The Not-So-Long Road Home

The Next Fake Day. A fake reporter is making his fake report about the Donnell case. He natters on about how Bobby is scheduled to take the stand "any second." Whoopee deedley dee. Jimmy mutters as he turns off the television, "Talk about rush judgments." Lucy is puttering around the office. Rebecca and Jimmy are making small talk. They want to know how it went yesterday at the clinic. Little Lucy explains that she's not allowed to talk about the client. Jimmy asks, "Not even whether you had a client?" No, she says, and then walks away, deep into the bowels of the back room where they keep the files and the unused hockey sticks from the second season.

Oh. Good. Lord. The Emperor takes the stand. Blah dee boring blah Lindsay was increasingly scared, blah dopey blah only a man could protect her from the evil William Hinks. Oh, the big bad serial killer was out to get her, oh, he just couldn't stand by and watch it happen, oh, the harassment. Calling the police didn't work. Getting the district attorney's office involved didn't work. Nothing worked. The police couldn't prove anything. There was nothing they could do. Then Bobby recounts the fact that Hinks allegedly killed Jeannie. Toome rightfully objects. Bobby retorts, "His therapist was murdered." You know, for someone who's supposed to be appearing humble and contrite, Bobby just sounds like an ass. An ass with attitude. Oh, Hinks showed up at the hospital. There's another shot of "Teardrops Keep Falling on" Lindsay "They Keep Falling" Dole looking like someone killed her pet and then tried to ruin her life. Oh wait, they did. Bobby is agitated: "The police, again, said they couldn't do anything." Pause. The words roll off his tongue like water off of the Victoria Falls: "He's out there killing people. He's obsessed with my wife!" Eugene stops him mid-sentence: "What did you do?" We all know: he called Alan Neal. Why? Bobby admits that he needed someone who was capable of scaring Hinks. This was because our fearful Emperor knew that Hinks's abilities to manipulate the police could far outweigh the power of the law. Yeah, and Bobby sending a two-hundred-pound goon over there to "talk" to the serial killer is a much better strategy: "Somebody who could genuinely scare Hinks." Eugene asks point-blank: "What did you say?" Blah dee blah fear of God blah. "Did you ask him to kill him?" Blah dee blah no, blah told him not to, blah scary blah only asked him to scare Hinks blah. Yawn. Is it possible that Neal thought Bobby wanted him to kill Hinks? Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Yadda. Yadda. Blah. Blah. Bobby: "I had a wife seven months pregnant. I didn't know what else -- " Pause for dramatic intent, and so that the Melody of Malcontented Misrepresented Emperors can roll into its natural place on-set. "A man who murdered his own doctor who is now turning all his attention to Lindsay. Was it risky to send a man to confront him? Yes. But I was not going to do nothing." Petulant pause; yet another shot of Lindsay looking mournful. The Emperor seethes, "That's my wife over there. Carrying our baby." And Godzilla's child. And the McCaughey septuplets. Apparently, Bobby was "not going to do nothing" three or four times over. He shakes his head. "But I never, ever asked him to kill anybody." Every single person in the fake jury is riveted. They can't peel their eyes off the Emperor. Now that's a Jedi mind trick. Oh, he is so acquitted. Can't we end this farce of a trial already?

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The Practice




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