Walking Dead
Claimed

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 100 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Home Swee-- Aw, Crap

Michonne is letting Carl do all the work in exchange for letting him pry tiny bits of information out of her, which is just fine with me. He finds out that her son's name was Andre Anthony, and that he was an only child. "He was a handful, like you." I bet Andre was never a meme, though. Carl wonders if the hallway counts as a room, which she says it does if he can find something they can use. For some reason she lets him get away with turning in a loosely wrapped painting, even though there are plenty of uncovered ones hanging on the walls. Not sure what that's good for, other than maybe busting it over a zombie's head and then laughing at it while it shambles around knocking shit over with the frame. Carl's next question is, "How long has it been?" Michonne says that it was after everything, and lets Carl get away with another question: "Does my dad know?" Michonne says she hasn't told anyone until now, and Carl says the secret's safe with him, even though it's not really a secret.

Carl moves on to the next room while Michonne checks out the painting. Which turns out to be a primitive-style portrait of a young woman, but violently scratched and defaced as though this house was visited by Andy from Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake. Michonne looks sharply down to the end of the hall where it came from and carefully approaches the nearly-closed door to that room. Hand on her sword hilt, she finds herself inside a small bathroom, which leads into a bedroom that was clearly once occupied by someone who designed catalogs for Pottery Barn Kids. There's another closed door that leads to yet another room -- this one entirely pink -- where there are two beds holding two rotting corpses each, varying in size. Michonne wipes away tears, then sees the mother in a chair behind her, the back of her head long since blown out. It's not clear whether they all killed themselves because of the zombie apocalypse or the room's d├ęcor.

Hearing Carl coming, Michonne darts out of the room and closes the door, telling Carl there's a dog in there and not a baby. Rather than pushing, Carl decides to share what's on his mind. "My dad let me name her," he says. "Maybe her and Andre are together somewhere." Michonne gently says it's time to get back and gently steers him out of the room, because Rick will worry if they're late. That is of course the least of Rick's worries.

He's still under the creaking bed, listening to its new occupant snoring softly over him, when another member of this new group comes in to demand the bed. "It's claimed," the other man says without getting up. Soon Rick is watching the feet of two men grappling, which is one way to save a lot of time and money on fight choreography. But before long, one of the men is on the floor, his head a foot from Rick's face, as Rick wills him not to see him. Which doesn't work. Lucky for Rick, his opponent has his hands around the man's throat, making it impossible to warn of Rick's presence. Finally the eyes glaze over and close, and the new guy announces, "My bed now, jack-off," and proceeds to take over the vital work of inadvertently crushing Rick, with one boot dangling off the side of the bed. This is probably not a sustainable situation for our hero.

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Walking Dead

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