Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
Mobbed Up

Fabio made pollo alla cacciatore polenta al pecorino. The judges like that it's Old World, and Bourdain thinks that the polenta helped him forget how bad the previous course was. Angelo made a sautéed pork chop, cherry peppers, green olives, tomatoes, and pancetta. The judges think it was too busy, and didn't feature the pork enough, which makes sense, since Frankie No talked about how his aunt kept the dishes simple with a few important ingredients. Blais made a fresh pancetta cutlet, broccolini, pickled cherry tomatoes. The judges liked how simple it was, and delicious. Frankie No concludes the meal by praising the brilliance of Colicchio and Bourdain, and also Lorraine Bracco. Nothing about Padma, though. Hilarious. Meanwhile, Mike is in back talking about how pasta was al dente, and he knows that it was al dente, and he hopes the judges didn't get any pieces that were undercooked. Is he delusional or just in denial?

Weird interstitial. Mike shows Dale and Antonia how to make gnocchi, and Antonia admits that she actually learned something. I really thought Mike was going home after that segment.

Stew Room. Mike is dissing Tiffany's antipasti, because it wasn't a plate of meat and cheese. After this judging session, can everyone just agree that Mike is not an expert at anything? Padma comes in and asks to see Antonia, Carla, Fabio, and Tiffany. Mike thinks that must be the bottom, because they all had their food made ahead of time. Oh, excuse me. I didn't know this was Top Chef a la Minute. My bad. I thought the dishes were judged on how they tasted, not how they were made. What an idiot. Blais, student of the show, is worried that they called in bottom first last time, so they wouldn't do it twice in a row. He needs to take some anti-anxiety medication.

Judges' Table. These four had the best dishes. Tiffany starts crying, and Padma asks why she's so emotional, and Tiffany says it's been up and down, especially after last week's Marcel-saster. Colicchio praises Antonia for leaving a good thing alone, and keeping it simple. Lorraine Bracco loved that Carla put the Parmesan in the soup. Colicchio thinks Fabio cooked his chicken nicely, and Bourdain says that his polenta cheered Bourdain up after the previous course. Lorraine gets to announce that Antonia is the winner. Antonia couldn't be more proud, but Fabio can't believe he lost, especially since he thinks that Antonia made a French dish. I love the looks on everyone's faces when Antonia announces that she won: shock, dismay, anger. Mike says again that Antonia's dish was really easy. It doesn't MATTER! It tasted good and it fit the challenge. When are they going to get that? And frankly, a perfectly steamed mussel is NOT that easy. Gah. The sexism among some of the remaining male chefs is killing me. They can't believe that a GIRL could cook good food. Now I want one of the women to win the whole thing. I would have been fine with Blais or Dale, but fuck them.

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Top Chef




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