Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Home on the Range

Laurine presents her dish first, a cactus salsa with achiote glazed pork chop. Kevin made pork tenderloin with cactus marmalade, and Tim Love pronounces it, "a little slimy, but good." Mike V. made an avocado roll with cactus coconut ceviche and red cactus coulis. It's certainly colorful. Ashley made cactus jelly donuts with orange crème anglaise. Tim Love compliments the donut. I thought maybe Ashley made donuts before, but it turns out that was Laurine.

Mike I. made cactus and tuna ceviche with pipian. Tim says he's not crazy about the relish but the rest of the plate is nice. Ron made chipotle swordfish with cactus sauce and mango papaya crab salad. Padma says kind of bitchily, "Where's... the cactus?" and Ron says that it's in the sauce. Tim Love just asks if he had fun cooking it. Bryan made halibut and cactus ceviche with tempura cactus. Tim asks if he's cooked cactus before and Bryan admits that he hasn't. Tim has a funny look on his face as he tests most of the food; I imagine these dishes aren't great due to the chefs' inexperience.

Ash made cactus "grilled cheese." It was supposed to use tortillas but instead ended up this weird chunk of "bread." Ash knows it sucks and Tim Love gives him a hilarious look and a nod. Ash interviews that Tim Love looked pissed that he had to eat that crappy food. Jen made warm chorizo and cactus salad with queso fresco. Mattin made breaded cactus, halibut with tequila pickled cactus, and red cactus puree. Tim Love likes tequila!

So now that all the dishes have been sampled, Tim Love is set to reveal his least favorites. He didn't like Ash's dish; it didn't taste like cactus and the too-thick tortilla dried out his mouth. Michael Volt (who looks shocked that he was chosen) had a dish that seemed like "two trains coming together" and it didn't work. And Ron's fish was overcooked and his crab tasted rancid. Yikes! I just realized we never even saw Robin's dish. Must have been boring.

Who's on top? Laurine made a nice dish, Mike I. was the only one that prepared the cactus properly, and Mattin used tequila and showcased the cactus itself instead of making it an afterthought. Tim explains that the winner is Mike I. because he showcased the cactus and prepared it properly. So, kind of a low bar to get over and mostly luck that he had worked with cactus before. Mike Volt interviews that he thought Mike I. deserved to win, and then bitches that he'd rather be able to put together good flavors than prepare cactus correctly Me-ow! I dig how honest he is in his interviews, though.

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Top Chef

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