Top Chef

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Cold Comfort
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Good morning, chefs! It's Week Six of the competition to see who can become America's Top Chef and then quickly sink back into obscurity. I mean, really, aside from Harold who has Perillo, what the heck are the rest of the winners doing? Are they locked in Gail's kitchen desperately trying to escape with shivs carved from the Glad Family of Products? This grim fate does not stop chefs across America from vying for the opportunity to cook scallops on national television. It's like people who play the lottery over and over again despite the fact that all lottery winners suffer horrible fates at the hands of greedy relatives, QVC, and life insurance salesman. Fact! The cheftestants struggle to get out of bed trapped under the weight of their Tim hangovers. Unbeknownst to us mere audience members, Tim was a veritable Father Figure to the contestants. Hopefully not in a George Michael kind of way. So they all have the sads now that he is gone on home to ...well, like twenty minutes from where they are in D.C., but whatever. They miss him so bad sometimes and they just have to lie down and cry some more. But duty calls and America must see who is going to win the next round of the competition! Angelo is out of bed because he wants "to focus on his food" as opposed to before when he focused on other people's foods. Probably Tim's food, which is why Tim went home, because [spoiler alert!] Angelo is a wee bit of a schemer. Andrea of the Ogilvy home perm and not-for-national-television frosting job is also in a "good place", which, of course, means she is going to get toaster caked at the first opportunity.

Off to the Top Chef kitchen in the product-placed hotel! Kevin gives us the lay of the land: Michelle Bernstein (who Top Chef keeps trying to make happen) is the guest judge and the kitchen is lined in wacky proteins. How wacky? It's a veritable house of horrors of proteins: Alligator head, llama bits, rattlesnake, yak, and emu eggs. Andrea is not at all happy to see James Beard award winning chef Michelle Bernstein as the guest judge. She puts on a serious bitch face and almost rolls her eyes. Apparently they are both women chefs in Miami and thus, biologically, cannot be friends. It's a uterus thing. Padma blithely asks Michelle if her Andrea's previous relationship will affect the judging. Michelle doesn't say no, but smiles that it is "all about the food." Once again, she does not say no. But this is entirely Andrea's fault for saying she was in a "good place" and then not knocking on wood, throwing salt over her shoulder or spinning a live chicken over her head for five minutes.

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Top Chef




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