Top Chef

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Grease Fire Is The Word

And finally, we have Mike vs. Michael. I kind of forgot how Padma talked to Michael Voltaggio like she wanted to rip his clothes off. She really has a crush on him, no? Voltaggio made duck breast with duck leg in bacon vinaigrette, and burnt leek and coffee pesto. That sounds...kind of terrible. Why would I want to eat something burnt? It looks like some meat in a pile of cat puke. Isabella made cashew dusted spiced duck breast with duck leg and mushroom jus. Seems simple but could be tasty. Padma chooses Voltaggio. Shocker! Ripert thought Voltaggio's dish was complex but he liked Isabella's dish better. Tie! Tie! Tom is the tie-breaker. He says that both dishes were good, but he thought Isabella handled the duck better. Holy crap! He won! Even Mike Isabella is shocked. Blais is impressed with the win and also looks more worried than usual. The All-Stars all say goodbye to the winners. I can't believe they flew those winners there for a Quickfire. I bet they'll be back at some point, no? We'll see.

Elimination Challenge: the cheftestants have to cook dinner for Bahamian royalty. Tiffany cannot say the word royalty - she pronounces it "roll-tee." Anyway, the cheftestants have the impression that they'll be cooking at some sort of fancy State dinner. They head off to their suite and we watch an infomercial for their hotel for a few minutes. Carla and Tiffany are roommates, and Tiffany mentions how badly it would suck to come to the Bahamas and only get to do one challenge. Blais talks about the research he has done about the Bahamas; he's cooked every fish he thought might live in the oceans around the island, and he's ready to hunt down a goat, kill it, and cook it, if need be. See, that kind of research doesn't bother me for some reason. Do I just hate Isabella that much? The finalists toast one another before heading to bed.

The next day, they have 150 minutes to prep. Tiffany claims they are cooking for "Bohemian roll-tee." Wasn't that a song by Queen? Mike imagines that royalty have traveled the world and eaten all different kinds of cuisine, so you can't "put up a plate of bullshit." Well, there goes his usual M.O. Blais is making spiny lobster with his ever-present pulled pork. Antonia is making lamb with bacon and Brussels sprouts, which she feels is a dish fit for a king and queen. Look, I wouldn't have known anything about the Bahamian government either, but I would have at least read the Wikipedia article about the country before heading there, and found out that there is no King and Queen of the Bahamas. Um, spoiler alert. Carla worries that being on the bottom for the Quickfire is creating self-doubt. Carla is the most emotional cook of all time. I feel like every episode is a roller coaster of her self-esteem. She's either feeling confident or not, and really lets it affect her performance. She tries to explain this to Antonia, and starts crying when she says that she feels underestimated, but she believes that her cooking can win this thing. Stop crying and start cooking, girl.

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Top Chef

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