Top Chef
Food For The People

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
TGI Top Chef

Back to Top Chef, Padma tells them they'll be making ice cream. Marisa immediately gets smug and tells us that she got really exxxcited about the challenge because she puts ice cream with almost every single dessert she makes. She's hoping to get immunity on the challenge. Padma shows them all the fruits, cookies, marshmallows, and stuff they get to use and tells them they all get to use a Cuisinart ice cream maker of their very own. Later we see that they're not using the kind I have, they're using the two-hundred dollar variety. "Since ICE cream takes time to freeze, you'll have two hours and forty-five minutes to create three quarts of ice cream," Padma tells them, as if she's giving them a huge gift of time. Alton would be so pissed. For proper ice cream consistency and texture, you need to chill the custard overnight, and then you need chill the churned shit OVERNIGHT! Two hours and forty-five minutes, my ass. Cliff tells us he's never made ice cream in his life. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER. Padmadala tells them they will be pimping their frozen wares at the Redondo Beach Seaside Lagoon. It's hot outside, so she's sure they will have lots of customers. She's wearing a pelvic exam in the form of shorts, so I'm sure they will have lots of customers.

Food flurry. Betty tells us she's never made ice cream in her life. Yeah, I think she looks like a more weathered than usual Suzanne Somers. Carlos bitches to us about the time constraints. I hear you, babe. At one point, Emily tests her custard and announces, "Still too hot, you frickin' bastard!" I really sort of love her for that. Emily explains she's doing a chocolate-lavender combo, which sounds incredibly awesome. I mean, I've usually only had lavender in vanilla-based ice creams but lavender truffles are all the rage these days. Son of Sam fiddles with his recipe and tells us that because he's not a pastry chef and is also diabetic, he's doesn't eat the sweet stuff and he doesn't make it. Ted Ilan tells us he's "into breakfast flavors," so he grabbed bacon and started making waffles. Ew. No, really, EW. I definitely think bacon can make everything better, hell, I even like to drink bacon, but when I contemplated bacon ice cream, I WAS KIDDING! Marcel blathers to us about new flavor profiles and how's he's making bacon-avocado ice cream. Urg -- it's sounds like a Cobb Salad ice cream. Ted Ilan bitches that Marcel is copying him. In the kitchen, Ted Ilan tastes Marcel's ice cream and makes a disgusted face behind Marcel's back. "Whaddaya think, Ilan? Marcel asks. "Nice," Ted Ilan lies. For reasons of possibly starting to feel sorry for Marcel that I'll explain later in the recap, I'm simultaneously starting to dislike Ted Ilan.

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Top Chef




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