Top Chef
Food Of Love

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 1 USERS: A+
Bye Bye, Turdie
Tiffani tells Falkner that the fruits tasted out of season, so she wanted to bring out their flavors. She put together a presentation of brown butter, rosemary, and cinnamon apples with chive on a crostini (what does she think she's doing -- stuffing a pork loin? Way too much going on there). Her figs are filled with sour cream, cinnamon, sugar, ground ginger, and orange zest. That one is okay, because those flavors definitely mesh well. Falkner says, "It's very different from everybody else's because it is a fruit plate assignment." So, is she criticizing her for doing more than just plating the fruit, or is she complimenting her for cooking and adding other ingredients? I never could figure that out. When I first saw this episode, I thought Tiffani and Harold were going to get in trouble for not just sticking to cutting and plating fruit in an interesting way, because it was never explained that they were allowed to cook the fruit or use additional ingredients. Falkner likes that Tiffani considered the seasonality of the fruit. Whatever, it's California, just say "seasonality" and they'll throw you a fucking seventy-six trombone parade.

Dave is next. His plate is a beautiful pile of fruit -- thoughtfully laid out -- with a ramekin of chocolate sauce. Falkner has seen too many fondues in her time and doesn't think Dave was that creative. Lee Anne's plate I really like. It's pretty, it's not overdone, and it looks professional. Too professional, though, because Falkner decides it looks far too much like buffets she's seen. It's not inventive enough.

Stephen shows his true pretentiousness with his fruit plate. It's twelve white espresso cups on a big white plate, and each cup has something in it. Stephen sneers to us, "Everyone else had fruit trays -- there were some very, very, VERY generic presentations and then there was my dish." Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've got the Dom Perignon in your hand and the spoon up your nose. The editors cut Stephen's fruit list down to three, so we all we hear is that he has: an emulsion of watermelon juice and olive oil (ew, but then, I'm not a watermelon fan); strawberries with salt and mint (pepper instead of salt may have been more Italian and less bizarre); and raspberries with tarragon and lemon juice (I really don't like tarragon -- it's my cilantro). Falkner is impressed, and Stephen makes sure to point out to us that Falkner told him he "took it to the next level, which is [his] goal in the competition. " Is it your goal to be such a prick? Because, dude? GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAALLL!

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