Top Chef
Food On The Fly

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | Grade It Now!
Nuke it Up A Notch

Miguel has a "trio dessert" of pumpkin Krispy Kreme, coconut water with chocolate foam, and Listerine Orange "palate cleansers." "It's bread pudding? With Krispy Kreme?" Chefferson confirms. It is. "Sickly sweet," Chefferson pronounces. Tiffani looks worried, but then she hides a grin in her hands. Next up is Andrea's hot mess of "Pit-Stop Peanut Noodles with Aged Teriyaki Beef." She used Cup-a-Soup (or something), beef jerky, and her peanut butter sauce is made from Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. She decorated the edge of the plate with peanuts, which just looks ridiculous. Chefferson decides, "Too peanut butter-y." I want to know how she separated the chocolate from the peanut butter. On to Candice, who chose to do a "spicy tortilla Gas Station Gazpacho." She gets points for thinking up that name, for sure, but gazpacho is supposed to be cold and this looks hot. She used spicy tomato soup and half-and-half. Chefferson laughs sneeringly that it tastes like nacho cheese sauce. Candice's face falls, "Okay." Man, he's just being snide to everyone, isn't he? Candice bitches to us that all the other chef judges have been nice, but this guy definitely wasn't. She insists that she didn't even USE nacho cheese crap. I think Chefferson's overcompensating for having such shitty food of his own, honestly. Harold tells us, "He dissected everybody...I'm really not feeling this guy." Harold explains his dish as ''Green Eggs and SPAM." He's got two thick rounds of shirred eggs on top of two rounds of toast, some relish, a sauce emulsified with the filling from an ice cream sandwich, and garnished it all with crispy SPAM and Funyuns (that one's for you, Sars). I'm not sure what his sauce is but he also has brown smears of something on the plate that make his shirred egg rounds look like shooting stars. "That plating could have been a lot tighter," Chefferson comments, "That relish, I already know, I wouldn't like on there." Whatever, I think the whole plate is pretty brilliant. Tiffani laughs with us that Chefferson's critiques were "on point" but a little "harsh" for a gas station competition.

On to Tiffani's Krispy Kreme bread pudding with blueberry sauce. She stuffed her bread pudding in a ramekin and to "cut the sweetness" she folded in Graham Crackers. Chefferson tells her the texture of her bread pudding should be softer and it's too dry. Tiffani also has two espresso cups of something on her plate, which aren't ever explained. Dave ramps up his dish's explanation, "You're stuck at your favorite girl or boy's place the night before, you got a gas station down the road and this is what we gotta work up." Dave's dish is called a "Morning After Trio." Not to be totally inappropriate, but that title reminds me way too much of the Morning After Pill. That would be some scary food. Dave whipped up a beef and bean burrito that he heated in the oven and then "torched briefly." Next, there's a tomato soup, and finally a cinnamon roll. Okay, why does it sound like he didn't actually make anything original and just bought stuff from the gas station and reheated it? Chefferson praises Dave. Lee Anne explains that time was up before she could finish saucing her final dish but she presents a Funyuns-Battered (nice spelling, Bravo, "Funion" it ain't!) Oscar Meyer Spiedini. Lee Anne explains to us that traditional spiedini is "a fried mozzarella sandwich, it's basically cheese slapped between two pieces of bread." Oh. Oh, Lee Anne. I know you're at the French Culinary Institute, but that's still no excuse for being culinarily ignorant. Spiedini is grilled or skewered meat, and what you're talking about -- the fried mozzarella sandwiches -- is called mozzarella in carrozza, or "mozzarella in carriages." Chefferson doesn't appear to call her on this gaffe -- probably because he's likewise ignorant -- and tells Lee Anne her dish is "very good." Lisa presents her "Gas Stop Breakfast" of cheese-scrambled eggs stacked on toast and topped with chiles. She also pan-seared some hot dogs with pistachio and pistachio dust for garnish. "Pork and beans with eggs?" Chefferson grins. No, hotdogs and eggs with eggs -- not remotely the same thing. Jerk.

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