Top Chef
Guilty Pleasures

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
Cold Stone Chillin'

Arriving at Café Nikki at Nikki Beach, the cheftestants spy Padma and Govind standing at a table outside. The Foley guys go nuts with the stock sound of tires screeching to a halt, and most of the cheftestants swear. Hung screams, "Oh my god -- donttellmewegottacookintheredudes!" Someone else screeches, "NO WAY!" and I think it's Casey. The Brians tell us they won't be clubbing that night. Damn, and I was so looking forward to seeing how he handled O'Brian's passion for the schottische along with Bryan's conviction that The Robot is still in.

After the commercials, CJ tells us that he was looking forward to going out and getting out of the house, "And then WHAMMO! There's Govind and Padma and a bunch of catering trucks, and all our dreams came to a crashing halt." I love how he trailed off at the end there. Lined up in front of Padma and Govind, all the cheftestants look pretty pissed. "Good evening, chefs!" Padma calls out brightly. "Good evening. Padma," Casey grits out, with a total and understandable bitchface on. Casey tells us that they didn't see this twist coming, and she's wearing a flimsy shirt and she certainly doesn't do Elimination Challenges in her nice clothes. Or heels, man, that's what I worried most about. Falling down and being in severe pain throughout the process. Sara M. says she really didn't give a shit that her cleavage was showing. Stay far away from the deep-fryer then, hon. Padma explains that the party at Nikki Beach starts at noon and goes until sunrise, "And so will you!" Some of the guys are all, "Oh, yeah! Bring it on!"

But Casey is just mad and pissed and angry and annoyed. Padma tells them they'll be making drunk food. She couches it as "food that will satisfy the late-night partier," but that's way too classy for what is essentially sustenance to keep you from having a massive hangover the next day. But it's drunk food, pure, simple, and preferably not classy. No foams here, Hung. Govind explains that he has a late-night dining menu at his restaurants, so he has a great time creating menus "for those people that enjoy cocktailing and whatnot." I think the "whatnot" is often satisfied by Cheetos dipped in peanut butter and barbeque pudding chips. Or, you know, whatever Padma eats.

The cheftestants will divide into teams, shop for thirty minutes with $300, and take control of the two catering trucks. Dale, however, has full immunity and won't even have to participate. Instead, he will be going out to dinner with Govind at Govind's restaurant, Table 8. Dale laughingly says he can just feel the hate and envy emanating from the other cheftestants. CJ tells us, "I'm really mad at Dale. It's not like I'm happy for him at all -- I'm strictly envious and mad." He grins, "And those are the worst things I think you can be as a person." Aw, I do love him. He's just not coming off as dickish to me. Not even half-dickish. The cheftestants pull knives for teams. The Brians tell us, "My Black Team consists of Hung, Sara M., Tre, and myself. Aces." I think I punctuated that correctly -- either that or the Brians have instructed everyone to henceforth address them as "Aces." It could happen. Team Orange is Sara N., Casey, CJ, and Howie. CJ says he knows Sara N.'s not the fastest chef, but he thinks she's thoughtful and talented. However, Howie, CJ says, "hasn't worked successfully with anyone, and he's kind of like the center of all the controversy in the house." The Brians laugh that they're scared for their pal CJ and his team, "You got a team that's looking a little frigid, a little frightened over here, and then you've got Howie." I love how he says "And then you've got Howie," as if it explains everything. Sara N. is not thrilled to have Howie on her team, because he's not a team player and every team he's been on has ended up on the bottom.

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