Top Chef
Guilty Pleasures

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
Cold Stone Chillin'

Back over on Team Black, one of the Brians has wedged himself behind the wheel of the catering truck and is bouncing on the seat and pretending to drive. He does know they aren't moving, doesn't he? "Keep it cooking you guys, come on, let's go -- WOOHOOOOOO!" Next thing you know, he's going to be leading them all in a chorus of "The Wheels of the Bus Go Round and Round." CJ notes that "the other team" seemed loud and annoying, but he was concentrating on his team's dishes. Time ticks down, and the teams get ready for the onslaught of camera-whoring drunk people. Or is that "camera-drunken whore people"? ["Wow, that' true." -- Miss Alli] While CJ worries that his team isn't fully prepped, one of the Brian's dances (quite literally, I assure you) in the parking lot. There's no music, so we can only assume he's jigging to the tunes that are on a perpetual loop in his head.

The club lets out, and the drunk people head toward our cheftestants. MALARKEY! screams, "HEEEEEY YEAAAAAAH! WE GOT TACOS!" while Casey tries to convince a drunk guy, who is totally hitting on her, to try their little burgers. "I don't even really believe they knew what was going on -- they're just here for the free food," Casey tells us. The drunk guy calls her "Jay-Z" and tells her she's really nice. After Bryan has had his turn pimping the tacos and the oysters in a relatively calm manner, MALARKEY! comes back to scream, "GRITS! GRITS! GRITS! GRITS! GRITS! GRITS!" Tre notes that the Brians have a good energy vibe and understand that it's important to keep the party going. CJ tells us he heard that MALARKEY! was being "cheesy as all hell" and thought it was fantastic, so he decided to "go to battle with MALARKEY! on this one." Yeah, but CJ, the man's a veritable army -- you can't compete with that. Plus, he's got crazy-person stamina. Sara N. complains to us that there are so many grasping people and they are grabbing at stuff inside the catering truck, and it's really hard to keep up. In the catering truck, Sara N. can't find the lid to the blender when she needs to make more milkshakes. After we see Howie fail to answer a quesadilla question from Casey, CJ takes stock of his team for us: "Howie's a bulldog, he's not smooth about anything, he doesn't communicate well with anybody. And Sara's just kind of like drifting off, and helping here and there, and she's only plating, like, three or four burgers at a time. Teamwork's not so good on Team Orange." In response to a demand outside, Sara N. calls back that her mini-burgers are coming. Howie tells us that Sara N. wasn't keeping up with the demand for the burgers.

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Top Chef




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