Top Chef
Restaurant Wars

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B+ | 29 USERS: A-
Double the Points, None of the Perks

Why is Restaurant Wars "everybody's favorite"? Often the Restaurant Wars episodes are my least favorite of the season. If I wanted to watch something riveting about creating a restaurant I would re-watch Famous Food on VH1 starring Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka and Danielle Staub. Then I would dine at a restaurant un-ironically named The Lemon Basket. I wish the chefs would do something like that.

Anyway, this episode begins with Carlos talking about the passion he has for being a chef. Glad we could learn more about you before you probably go home, Carlos. The chefs walk in to see Padma in an amazing caftan dress. She tells them there is no Quickfire this time, because they're getting straight to Restaurant Wars. The chefs applaud with trepidation. Padma introduces guest judge David Chang, who is a badass chef and restaurant owner, according to Brian. The chefs draw knives for restaurants/teams.

The green team consists of Shirley, Nina, Carlos, Sara and Justin. The purple team is automatically the underdogs, according to Nicholas, who is with Travis, Stephanie, Brian and Carrie. I forgot Carrie was still in this -- I don't feel like we really know her that well. David Chang tells them they have 24 hours to open up a pop-up restaurant. Stephanie notes that she should have taken a Pepto.

Each team will choose an Executive Chef and someone to run the front of house. There will be a VIP table of Chase Sapphire card members "who have a passion for dining and earn double the points at restaurants with their Chase Sapphire card… we'll be eager to hear what they have to say about their experience," Padma says, plowing her way through the bullshit. What are the odds that someone has a passion for dining and earning double the points? The phrase "passion for dining" makes me want to stick my head in boiling water.

The green team feels confident with their members and settles quickly on "Modern American" for their style. Perfect… that could mean anything. Sara volunteers to do dessert, which usually doesn't go well. Meanwhile, on the purple team, that awful Travis character volunteers to be at the front of the house, saying "gays belong in front of the house, duh!" But Travis, you are the worst and people that obnoxious and arrogant should be kept in the back of the house. The purple team lands on a concept of seafood. They are pleased and surprised to see how well their collaboration is going.

Doubly doomed, Sara places herself in the front of the house. She claims the biggest target lands on the executive chef for this challenge, and Justin volunteers. I can never decide how I feel about Justin, he's so deadpan and he was such a dick for that pig challenge.

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