Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
Three Courses, No Waiting
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Man, did the producers make a good decision to film in DC in the spring, because every show has many, many shots of cherry blossoms and they are beautiful! Unlike DC in the summer, which is (I've heard) a swampy mess. I've only visited DC in the spring, and it was warm and pleasant. I know you were dying to know that information. Of course, it was twenty years ago, so now that I have kids, I should probably plan to go back at some point because HISTORY. Anyway.

It's morning in the townhouse, and various cheftestants are sleeping, eating, grooming, etc. Arnold is ironing his jeans. Wait, Arnold is ironing his jeans? WTF? Who irons jeans? And why? How wrinkly could they be? And it's not like you want a crease in them. And you're going to cook, so they may get food bits on them anyway. Did I just out myself as a slob? I had turkey chili for lunch and I won't lie -- there are a few tomato spots on my shirt. I promise to change if I leave the house. Anyway, Arnold feels good about winning the last challenge, of course. Andrea sips coffee and reflects on how she will miss Tracey, but also that she keeps ending up in the middle of the pack and wants to break out. Tim is bummed that he's been at the bottom a few times, but he knows that what's more important is how you finish in the competition. Of course, if you keep ending up on the bottom, your competition is going to be finished soon. And also, I can't really remember an eventual winner that was frequently in the bottom two. Once or twice, sure. But frequently? Naw.

The cheftestants skip down the stairs to the street to report for their Quickfire Challenge. They find Tom and Padma in the kitchen with no guest judge, and a bunch of baby toys strewn about. Tim knows they won't be cooking baby food. He says it in the tone that implies that cooking baby food is SO beneath him. Buckle up, Ponch, and prepare to slum it. Padma is wearing a shirt with this bizarre textured square on the front. It's sort of alligator-y looking, but just that square, so it kind of looks like a breastplate. I just accidentally typed "beastplate" which might be a better description. Anyway, it's weird and makes her look like a turtle.

Padma explains that she and Tom both had additions to their family recently; Tom has an eight-month-old daughter and she has a two-month-old daughter. So the challenge is to make a dish for Tom and Padma and also one for their babies. Okay, I don't mean to get pedantic on the producers, but unless it's 1970, Padma is not feeding her two-month-old solid food, even if it's pureed. The earliest anyone would recommend starting purees is four months, and most recommend waiting until closer to six. It's stupid and I know I'm one of the few that cares, but they could have just stuck in one line where Padma says, "that will satisfy my baby when she's ready for solids" or something. Whatever, no one cares and it's a stupid thing to complain about but it stuck in my craw for some reason.

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Top Chef




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