Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
Three Courses, No Waiting

Lynne is freaked out because she's never had a baby so she doesn't know what human beings like to eat. I mean, seriously. Who doesn't know what babies like? Mash up some foods. They are human beings, so they like what other humans like, except they don't have the means to chew things up very well, and their throats are smaller so you have to be careful you don't give them things that might get stuck, like a whole grape. Other than that, go to town. Padma says that it's a high-stakes quickfire, and she and Tom will each choose a winner to get $10,000. Alex says it would be nice to win the money to buy himself something nice, like a hooker and an eight-ball. Ba dump bum. Alex, you are not nearly as amusing as you think you are, and each week you seem more and more skeevy to me. Please stop that. Padma adds that no one will get immunity and they have forty-five minutes.

Alex says he's never fed a baby before, and he likes to practice making babies, but not baby food. GROSS. That could have been a semi-charming joke coming from someone else, but he is quickly becoming the Mike I. of this season for me. It doesn't help that, with his bald head, he kind of looks like a giant penis. Kevin had a kid, with one also on the way, so he thinks his roast duck with banana polenta will be a home run. I think the bananas are a good idea. Tamesha explains that she has a younger brother and she remembers giving him a lot of vegetables as a baby, so she's going to do vegetable chowder. Tamesha has a serious cold or allergies in her interview segments, to the point where her stuffy nose is kind of distracting. She also claims that you have to give babies plain food, which isn't true -- all the information I've read lately says not to be afraid to give your baby spices, though you obviously shouldn't overdo it with the hot sauce. If you're breastfeeding, it's not like your body filters out the spice anyway. I gave my babies oat cereal with apple pie spice because I tasted the cereal and man, it was like paste without any spices. They haven't complained yet. Of course, they can't talk, but believe me, they let me know when they don't like something.

Kelly wants to prove that you don't have to have kids to win the challenge, and her recipe involves pork with ginger and lemon juice. Ginger is a great choice; it settles stomachs naturally. Kenny reveals that his first wife died when his daughter was just over a year old, so he pretty much raised her, and used to cook her baby food. Aw. Stephen is critical of Kenny's baby food, since he's adding in diced apple, and Stephen thinks it's a choking hazard. Again, it depends on how old the baby is. Padma's would. Tom's might, but probably not, and if the dice is fine enough, it won't matter. Lynne, like Andrea, is sick of being in the middle of the pack, and wants to break out with her chicken and tropical fruits concoction. Angelo loves to educate his son, so he's making something layered. He knows it's risky but he wants to take chances and fail big if he fails. I like that attitude, but I have to say that I doubt a baby cares if their food is layered, especially since they don't feed themselves for a while so they don't even necessarily see the presentation of the food. But this isn't reality, so I guess thinking about presentation is probably a good idea. Although it would have been kind of awesome if they had included babies on the judging panel.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

Top Chef




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP