Top Chef
Season 2 Finale, Part II

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So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

...The urine thing isn't completely baseless. But it works more for jellyfish stings to remove the actual stinger, which is quite different from the sea urchin stinger. Urine needs to be very acidic in order to work...which it shouldn't be normally. So that's why it's not smart to do it. Here's an interesting article about it. Also: the vinegar isn't used at all for nullifying the toxin itself -- which is a complicated batch of neurotransmitter (way more complicated than the sea urchins, but in most cases, a lot less potent. Jellyfish usually cause superficial skin problems...).

Bottom line: not completely insane for jellyfish, but not effective for sea urchins.

So, I'm not sure who exactly "advised" him to do it, but Ted Ilan begs Marcel, "Marcel, would you mind if I peed on your hand." Yep -- we are firmly in Ted Ilan's fantasy world. Marcel says he would mind, actually. We next get a shot of Marcel's feet and DRIPPING! There is PEEING going on right now ON MY TELEVISION. So much ick. So much gross. So much for class, Bravo. "Pretty gnarly," Marcel admits, pulling up his pants, "but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to survive." Because there was no other alternative treatment for him. Because they aren't staying at some resort where doctors or medi-kits can be found. Go ahead, stick your finger... down there and pee. We'll wait. And watch, apparently. Ted Ilan giggles to us, "In the end, I didn't pee on Marcel but I would have loved to pee on Marcel." I think I've just realized why Ted Ilan likes to use so much saffron -- it reminds him of his favorite sports. But you know, there's something so... poetic about Marcel peeing on this show. He's literally peeing all over it. It's sort of the perfect tribute.

In their Top Chef whites, Marcel and Ted Ilan stand in front of Colicchio, who tells them, "Just cook us the best meal you've ever prepared in your entire life." "Just"? They will have eight diners to serve -- all important chefs -- and need to prepare five courses. They draw knives to decide where they'll be cooking in Waikoloa Village. Ted Ilan pulls a knife that determines he'll be cooking at Donatoni's, and Marcel will be cooking at this adorable Japanese tea house called Imari.

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Top Chef

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