Top Chef
Season 2 Finale, Part II

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So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

Colicchio arrives for his Sniff 'n' Sneer and examines the teardrops, asking what they are. "These are a little isomalt encapsulations for --" Marcel begins. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Colicchio interrupts knowingly. If you were just going to "yeah, yeah, yeah" him, why'd you ask, Coldickio? Colicchio then asks if Marcel will have any problems with humidity. "I'm going to go with 'no' for right now," Marcel responds. But what are you going to go with for tomorrow, Marcel? Marcel goes on, "For the sake of, you know, my own --" "Positive thinking?" Colicchio supplies. Marcel then explains all his other courses. Colicchio asks how his sous chefs are performing. "So far, so good," Marcel responds.

Moving on to Ted Ilan, Colicchio gets a bit of his Sniff 'n' Sneer thwarted when he's told that Ted Ilan's first course is going to be a surprise. He then moves on to discussing Ted Ilan's other dishes before leaving.

Food flurry. Marcel tells us that he feels really good about all the prep up to this point: "It's just merely a matter of getting the two speed racks squared away." We see Marcel looking at a list, Sam loading a speed rack, and Mike walking in and out of a walk-in. It tickles me to think that that's all he did all day. Sort of like Grover and the irritable customer. The speed racks for both teams are packed and wrapped in plastic.

The next day, Ted Ilan takes off for his service. He talks himself up to us and tells us he's ready to "beat the shit out of Marcel." Oh, so you're going to do it yourself this time? Ted Ilan, you're growing as a person. Cliff will be happy to hear that. Ted Ilan and his two douchefs (this time it's sort of got a ring of Summer's Eve truth to it, especially with Elia's tuna juice problem) are all over each other. Again. For the sake of the food, I really hope they wash up after all this ménage a slobbering. Team Ilan gets into the kitchen and starts a food flurry. I was tickled by this exchange; Ted Ilan says, "First the leeks, we need to uh --" "Cook them," Elia supplies. Good thing he's got her on his team! Ted Ilan also tells Elia to cook the fish while he does sauce and shrimp. He admits to us that "technically she's a better chef than [he is]." Elia tells us that the douchef is the "real chef of the kitchen." Then why isn't the show called "Top Sous Chef"? Oh right, because Colicchio says so. Betty asks Ted Ilan a question and mistakenly calls him "Marcel." I guess she's just so used to talking shit about Marcel, she isn't used to saying anyone else's name. "What did you just call me?" Ted Ilan demands. Betty goggles and giggles over her mistake and says, "Oh, my god, I should be shot." SO! MUCH! VISUAL! JOY! CAN'T! SNARK! CLEARLY! Colicchio arrives for another Sniff 'n' Sneer and can see that Ted Ilan has things well in hand, even if Ted Ilan still won't tell him about the first course. However, Colicchio's prying eyes can see the eels, and he says, "So I guess that's the surprise." Colicchio, you crafty devil -- can't pull anything over on you! Not even a turtleneck. Colicchio tells the cameras that Ted Ilan is going for Spanish again, and hopes it will be enough to wow the judges. Speaking of which...

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Top Chef

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