Top Chef

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Chuck: B- | Grade It Now!
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It's A Sabotage!

Winning comes with a price, though, and Dale must endure the pain of summoning Spike, Lisa and Andrew to the loser's round of the judging, which really hurts. Right, Dale? The beatdown starts with Andrew: Padma asks if he really thought that a salmon roll was a hearty enough lunch for a hungry cop. Sure did, responds Andrew, and then proceeds to dance around the question with a lengthy discourse on bringing something unexpected to the table, studying nutrition, choosing every ingredient in the roll "to basically make you stronger or make you feel a little more energized," leaving your audience wanting more, and eating fist-sized meals every three hours because that's the healthy thing to do. So you think the cops would go for another roll in three hours, wonders Colicchio. Try a candy bar. And then, says Ted, there was also that part about the food actually being satisfying. Andrew wonders if this was in his rule sheet (more on that later), and Padma assures him it was: "Hearty, nutritious, and delicious." Ted wonders if Andrew thought at all about his real audience -- as opposed to the one in his head -- in terms of reinterpreting something familiar instead of striking off for left field, and Andrew maintains that he wanted to showcase something new, which may have been insanely healthy, but unfortunately was also unsubstantial and gross.

Spike likes chicken salad. That's why he made it. And because it wouldn't frighten the cops, those food sissies. Not, he assures everyone, because it would make things more difficult for the competition. Sam questions the level of thought that went into the use of the tomato, lettuce, and bread -- Spike wants to know what was so bad, so Colicchio asks if he chose the ingredients because they were integral to his vision or because he's a schemer (not that there's anything wrong with that). Even if you do make choices for strategic as opposed to creative reasons, counsels Colicchio, use what you choose. Oh, and by the way, the combination of olives and grapes in the chicken salad was rather weird. "Salty and sweet," responds Spike. "What don't you understand about salty and sweet?" Oh, zing -- he really got you there, Colicchio! Except that olives are more than salt, and their flavor simply doesn't work with grapes, you little shit. Spike counters that the people's palate liked the food, even if the smarty-palate judges didn't, and they argue about who's better until Colicchio asserts his "final say" authority and Spike gets a gong from the sound guys.

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Top Chef

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