Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Chuck: B- | Grade It Now!
It's A Sabotage!

Lisa makes the judges tell her why she's there instead of going all knee-jerk defensive in response to Padma's question about the reason for her presence. Your stir fry was neither, says Colicchio, and there were so many, many things cooked incorrectly. Long beans, shrimp, and (most notably) brown rice were woefully undercooked, even after microwaving, he continues. This compels Lisa to confess that "somebody fucked with my rice." She delivers her sob story and her conviction that, no, Ted, she did not accidentally turn it up to high herself, because she had the burner set at low and was using a timer, and the rice had about ten to twelve minutes left when the evil agent struck (which is a bit odd, because if the rice only had ten minutes left, wouldn't it be at least partially cooked?). Dirty business aside, says Colicchio, all the other stuff was raw.

"Do you have anything else to add before the judges deliberate?" asks Padma, each word pregnant with significance. Lisa, squirming under the realization that her claims of sabotage haven't saved her from elimination, decides to employ her new-found love of the rules, and a defense for looking out for number one, to call out Andrew on his failure to use a whole grain. "I don't want to point fingers," she says, pointing fingers. "We are aware of it," Colicchio assures her, because we know all. We just like to watch you all implode. Ah, says Andrew, "I've always been against the grain" (ouch) and, when asked why he didn't use one, again focuses on his desire to be different, to do "rice" instead of rice. Colicchio then confirms that Andrew understood the challenge (and was therefore knowingly breaking the rules, as opposed to being unaware). He did, however, lose his rule sheet early in the challenge (I've never seen a rule sheet in any of the episodes, although it does make sense that there would be one), and forged ahead without it. Lisa apologizes for calling Andrew out, and maintains that he'd have done the same to her. He wouldn't, he says, and that's the difference. "If I say any more, I'm scared I'm going to get punched," says Lisa. If only.

Interesting, agree the judges, as Andrew runs an index and a middle finger from under his eyes down his cheeks, freaking out Antonia. Spike wonders, as I do, why on earth she'd insert herself into the argument. Maybe she's craving screen time, since she landed right in the middle this week. Andrew thinks Lisa's seeking vengeance for Andrew's remark about the high cholesterol of her shrimp (which wasn't part of the judging segment, and it's really lame that he'd think Lisa would be angry about something he said during prep, except for the fact that she totally would). She's just competing in a competition, bro.

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Top Chef




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