Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Chuck: B- | Grade It Now!
It's A Sabotage!

For building the sexiest salad, Spike will enjoy a ten-minute jump on the shopping, as well as the ability to choose one ingredient from each of the four required food groups that only he can use. He feels that said advantage will enable him to start showing off the tricks he's tucked up his sleeve -- Stephanie laments that Spike's the one with the leg up, since she's sure he'll use it to "fuck us all over" (as opposed to simply focusing on improving his own performance) "which I'm sure he's very excited about." She's absolutely right -- he is excited, and he's an ass. This is a competition, lest anyone forget, and while various "strategies," as Spike calls them, may show one to be not such a nice person, they're all -- short of outright cheating and rule breakage -- legit. Andrew doesn't care what Spike does or does not do, since he has a background in nutrition and working with raw foods, and thinks he'll be able to concoct something that will make people say "wow" and "awesome" in annoying baby voices.

Over at Whole Foods, Spike makes a point of running around while the rest of the gang has to stand and watch him, unable to do anything for ten excruciating minutes, as Antonia rehashes what's going on. "Now it's time to piss everybody off," says Spike, enjoying his current situation more than immunity since it means he gets to actively hamper his teammates' efforts. Offering a snide wave, Spike explains that he's going to choose ingredients that will make things more difficult for everyone else. As he asks the butcher for chicken breasts, he explains that he'll be doing chicken salad, since chicken is the go-to lean lunchtime protein and they'll all have to fight over meat; in addition to chicken, he selects tomatoes, bread, and lettuce, effectively blocking anyone else from assembling the traditional lunchtime duo of sandwich and salad without a lot of thought and creativity. There's plenty that can be done without using those ingredients, but Spike's definitely making things a bit more difficult. And boy is he pleased with himself.

Antonia says that if Spike doesn't use the tomatoes tomorrow, he's going straight to hell. While frustrated by the degree to which Spike seems to enjoy screwing the competition, his outward focus leads her to believe that he hasn't actually spent much time thinking about his own dish. After he rattles off his short list of ingredients to the other six, Spike insists that it's nothing personal, before telling the camera, with the grin of a true douche, that it totally is. Andrew feels that Spike has chosen "the four most dumbed-down components on purpose" because everyone in the house is "stupid" (I was actually not aware that Andrew felt this way about his compatriots) and will now be forced to get creative with their dishes. With 30 minutes and $175, the rest of the group now gets to start its hunt and gather.

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Top Chef




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