Top Chef
Sunny Delights

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
Bye, Bye Birdsong

Howie tells us he thinks he sliced the Jamaican jerk pork tenderloin -- that he's serving with mango slaw and citrus vinaigrette -- too early. It started to dry out. Joey From New York says he heard people complaining that Howie's dish tasted like sawdust, "I mean, you do something like that in New York, you're going home." What the hell does New York have to do with it? What, like NO ONE in New York has ever served dry pork? Whatever, dude -- I certainly hope New York loves you as much as you love it. Meanwhile, Joey From New York's brilliant barbecue offering is "Korean style" barbecue chicken with charred corn, tofu, and bean sprout salad. I'm not entirely sure what makes the dish Korean, but I fear that Joey From New York decided that simply the addition of tofu and bean sprout Koreanized it. Some guest wishes something was "bite-sized" but it's hard to tell what's on his plate. As Gail and NORM! walk up, Hung is just replenishing the drink he's serving. He's starting people off with a watermelon-berry-citrus zest cocktail alongside his flank steak with grilled corn and tomato salad with bagel chips. "This is a watermelon Champagne?" a guest asks. "Yes," Hung says, "I made it -- watermelon and fresh berries." Joey From New York, his Top Chef baseball hat now belligerently and purposefully twisted to the side, bitches, "The drink he's got? Is fucking the exact same fucking thing I made." We have a dramatically sepia flashback to Joey From New York serving his watermelon shooter with coriander oil to NORM! during the Quickfire. "He's a kiss ass," Joey From New York goes on to no one in particular. Is he a kiss ass for serving a drink? Because what does that make you? If you think he ripped you off, fine, but that doesn't make him a kiss ass, it just makes him a copycat. "That's why he moved to Vegas, because he can't hang in New York," Joey From New York continues. Okay, what? Making a drink means he can't "hang" in New York? Hung tells us, "I got the idea for a watermelon drink because there's always watermelons at barbecues."

Back at the site, Hung is talking to Brian (MALARKEY!) and Joey From New York lumbers over to interject, "Ask him where he got this idea from the drink." Brian (MALARKEY!) seems to ignore him. Hung shrugs to us, "I didn't know Joey had a patent on that." Back at the site, Joey From New York is still blithering along, "I'm gonna buy you some kneepads when we get back -- getcha kneepads." Hung laughs uproariously at this and mimes being on his knees doing…something. Joey From New York, clearly frustrated that he's not able to rile Hung up, turns away and again says, "No -- he's a fucking kiss-ass, this guy." He is so threatened by Hung. And he should be. I think the problem here is that Joey From New York clearly never learned to spell, Hung's not "a fucking kiss-ass," he's fucking KICK ass. Casey rolls her eyes to us over all of this: "It's always someone else's fault when it comes to Joey." Padma tells the cheftestants to clean up -- using their Gladware products, of course -- and says they'll see them next at the Judges' Table.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Top Chef




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP