Top Chef
Thanksgiving

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
What the Turducken?!

Moving on, Colicchio wants to know what Carlos spent four hours on. Carlos details that spent an hour on roasting the squash -- most of that would be inactive time -- and he also prepared the mirepoix for Marcel and Michael. "So, in four hours, you made dressing and you roasted squash," Colicchio calculates. "Listen, if you're saying that I sat on my butt while I was just doing salad," Carlos says. Well, we did get quite a few shots of you doing just that. Granted, you were also slicing garlic when you sat on your butt, but still. Colicchio repeats that he just wants to know what he spent four hours on. Carlos just looks angry and doesn't answer. Turning to Marcel, Marcel likes his dish but knows his turkey was dry, "But, you know, it's tough to do when you're trying to sous-vide without a thermal immersion circulator." "You don't need that to do sous-vide, you're making excuses," Colicchio interrupts. "Um, but, I know," Marcel says. I don't know why that made me laugh, but it did. Betty looks very smug during Marcel's roasting. Colicchio does give props for Marcel's idea of "cutting-edge" being far beyond that of the other Native Americans. They briefly touch on Elia, who says that she liked her mushroom soup.

Getting to Betty, she admits that her brûlées could have been much better. "Why?" Gail asks. "I enlisted the help of two other people [cut to Marcel and Elia], I realized that I should have done the entire thing myself, because I know how I like to brûlée it, and that's where my dish failed. I was very happy with the texture, I was very happy with the flavors, but I was not happy with the brûlée." Dude, I just LOST it at this point. I can't FUCKING believe she's going to sit there and blame other people, who HELPED HER SUN-WRINKLED ASS, for the failure of her stupid brûlées. It wasn't HOW the damn things were brûléed, it was the shit on top that was burning! There is no "way" those things could have been brûléed and NOT burned, you toothy hag! Plus, she was already complaining about the heat of the oven and the custard consistency before anyone else even TOUCHED her precious brûlées. Wench. Hag. WENCH! Colicchio announces that he "didn't find it to be a crème brûlée." "You didn't taste the chai?" Betty asks. That's not what he said; he said nothing about tasting the flavors, Bitchy, he said he didn't find it to be a crème brûlée. Colicchio thinks was just pie filling. "Yes, it was," Betty agrees proudly. "But that's not a crème brûlée," Colicchio points out. Marcel gets a small smile on his face that he tries hard to suck back into his mouth. "Just because you stick something in a vessel and put sugar on the top and burn it doesn't make it crème brûlée," Colicchio tells her. Bourdain wants to know what was cutting edge about her dish. Betty says that cutting edge is not her style and she does comfort food. Bourdain rolls his eyes. You know, ol' Tony is getting so weathered and leathered, he's starting to look like a really bad Humphrey Bogart impersonator. Colicchio finally cuts to the chase and said the two dishes that stood out were Marcel's and Elia's. Bourdain announces that while he admires Marcel's audaciousness and how seriously he leapt into the point of the challenge, Elia wins the competition.

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