Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | 1 USERS: A+
What the Turducken?!

Elia asks Betty what she thinks of a mushroom soup. Betty unhelpfully says, "I think mushroom would be lovely with what we're serving, but this is your dish." Elia says she "truly does not care any more." Fight for it, Elia, FIGHT FOR IT! The Native Americans shop. The bulk of them go to the grocery store, while Elia goes to a restaurant supply store and gets restaurant supplies. Michael tells us he's going all out on three dishes: a round of canapés, a plate of two kinds of potatoes and corn, and a cheese plate. You go, Flounder! Marcel's going to go all avant-garde on our asses. Finally, he's bringing out the foams and gelées! I was so annoyed he might bring them into every single challenge but now, with the dearth of smears and shit, I'm psyched that he's finally getting freaky with it. He does say something about doing a turkey roulade, which isn't exactly cutting edge. Remember what Stephen had to say about Candice's signature chicken roulade? Elia picks out gravy boats and tells us that she knows what good food tastes like and she knows what bad food tastes like and after the Quickfire, she has been wondering if there's any point to her being in the competition at all.

The winners, or the Pilgrims, roll up at the food bank to drop off the Top Chef largesse. Sam, walking ahead of everyone (as I'm sure he was told to do), carries a frozen turkey in each hand, showing off his major muscles (as I'm sure he was told to do). Mia tells us that she was happy to drop off food at the food bank because when she was thirteen, she and her mother had it rough and they were homeless, so she knows how important the food bank is. Sam walks up to a foreman and says they had some extra food and thought the food bank could use it. Food Foreman says, "We sure could -- great, turkeys, we can get ready for the season." Frank waxes responsible about giving back to the needy.

Meanwhile, the Native Americans are back at the lofts to start their initial prep. Betty is glad they cleaned their kitchen and shoos Marcel and Michael back over to the other kitchen-slash-bedroom. Michael didn't mind the splitting off because Marcel and Betty don't get along and he personally doesn't really like how bossy Betty is anyway. Unfortunately, when they get over to Marcel, Frank, and Ilan's loft, the place is a complete mess. Michael comments that he'd throw up if he knew food came from that place and that it smells like "ass and cigarettes." Ass and Cigarettes, that's Paris Hilton's new perfume. Marcel talks about how the place was such a mess, he just had to dump all the toiletries somewhere. They were on the counters and now they're on the floor. Uh-oh, Frank's gonna be MAD! By the way, because of upcoming threats of bodily massacre, I feel the need to point out that we can see a toothbrush sitting PROMINENTLY in a toiletry kit. The kit is on the floor, but the toothbrush isn't. Not at all.

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Top Chef




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