Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: C- | Grade It Now!
Watch Nothing Happen

Next viewer question: Someone wants to know how Fabio broke his finger. Um, he fell, and it broke? Do they want, like, the MRI? Again, out of all the questions that were submitted, I refuse to believe that was the most interesting. I am willing to bet that it was the one they had footage for, to make a clip package. Fabio explains that he was wearing sneakers, and he slipped. Wow, thanks for solving that mystery! Of all the things I've wondered about this season that had to be in the top... nothing, because I never wondered that. Andy insultingly asks if Stefan was worried about his boyfriend. Bleh, skip to the part where Toby says pussy and it isn't bleeped and then Stefan gets a T-shirt that says "I heart Fabio." Buy yours now!

Carla was kooky! Let's look at a clip package where she talks about her spirit guides and serving food with love. And a clip we never saw where Carla sang a made-up song about Judges' Table. Plus, hootie hoo. And then kooky Carla started winning. Sidebar: You know how you go to workshops or camps or whatever, and they make you do an icebreaker? And you have to say an adjective that starts with the same letter as your first name to introduce yourself? I always had to pick kooky. I don't think I'm particularly kooky, but there really are no other adjectives that start with K. Ketchup-y? Knowing? That seems like cheating. Anyway, it always bugged me when they did that icebreaker. It's discriminatory. I guess I should be glad my name's not Xena or Zelda or something, but then I would have other problems in my life. Carla admits that she gets a lot of people coming up to her and saying hootie, and Colicchio points out that it won't work anymore. People, this is why cell phones were invented. Just call him and be like, "Where are you? Because I'm near the ice cream table and you need to get here right now." Andy asks Carla if her positive attitude helped her make it to the finale. Do you really think she's going to say no? I mean, she could say it was due to her cooking, but everyone made good food. So Carla predictably says that it did, and once she stopped being scared, she made good food.

Apparently, this season, a lot of the cheftestants were eliminated on or around their birthdays. This is mildly interesting. Does it merit a clip package? In a season where there were no big fights or other drama, I guess it does. Daniel was eliminated on his birthday. Eugene was eliminated on her birthday. Radhika was eliminated on her birthday. Leah was eliminated on her birthday. The one funny thing about the package is that they insert a lightning/thunder sting when Padma tells each one to pack your knives and go. After the package, Daniel talks about all the bad things that have happened to him on his birthday. Fabio lies and says he thinks Daniel has a chance to win Fan Favorite. Girl, please.

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Top Chef




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